All girlfriends can attest that meeting your boyfriend’s family can be slightly nerve wrecking… okay, very nerve wrecking. Society has given us this mentality that ‘meeting the parents’ is supposed to be some kind of anxiety-ridden event that takes place. And popular movies such as Meet The Parents and The Family Stone surely do not help with that attitude – I mean, come on, we all want to CRY for Sarah Jessica Parker when she meets her boyfriends family. The holidays are a prime time to meet the fam because it’s usually when everyone is together in one place and in celebration-mode. I’d like to think that girls who have to meet their beau’s kin during the holidays have a leg up because everyone is in that festive, cheerful mood. While it’s a known fact that they are probably going to adore you because 1) you’re a fabulous collegiette and 2) you were somehow able to tie down their wildcard of a son, it’s a good idea to keep a few rules of etiquette in mind during the festivities.
Bring a gift: When you step through the threshold of your boyfriend’s family home, it’s a great idea to come bearing a gift. Nothing lavish or obviously expensive because that’ll look like you are trying way too hard. Get them something simple, yet sophisticated, that shows you were thoughtful. Seasonal candles, a bottle of wine and wine accessories (only if they drink), or a basket full of ornate munchies are some great gift ideas to consider.
Lose the cellphone: This shouldn’t come as a shock to anyone, but we live in the generation where a cell phone is permanently attached to our hands. Kick that mindset when you go to meet the parents and keep your phone tucked away in your purse. Having your phone out shows that you have better things to do than become acquainted with your guy’s family. No way sister. The only acceptable excuse to have a phone out is to take a picture, then put it away (okay, okay, maybe after you Instagram it.)
[pagebreak]
Keep your hands to yourself: There’s nothing like a whole lot of PDA to make you want to throw up your Christmas dinner, am I right? It’s best not to be touchy-feely/ clingy to your boyfriend the entire time. It makes people very uncomfortable and gives off a really bad impression on your part. Keep it rated G while around the relatives and keep your hands/ lips to yourself. Really though, his mother will probably give you the stink-eye because that’s her little boy you are groping.
Be Extroverted: No one ever made a positive impression by being standoffish. Do not hide behind your guy all night or get anxious and squirmy when he leaves the room. Guys can be really forgetful when it comes to introductions, especially if there is a lot going on in the room. Take it upon yourself to extend a handshake and become acquainted. Carry on conversations with confidence. Laugh at jokes you are told and offer help to people in the kitchen. Interact with little siblings or cousins. Answer questions honestly and wholeheartedly. His family already sees how beautiful you are on the outside, so you need to show them you can match that beauty on the inside!
Dress with style and class: This goes without saying. Don’t dress like a hooker. There is a fine line between the clothes you wear to Char and the clothes you wear to meet the boyfriend’s parents. Keep skirt or dress hems longer, don’t show any cleavage, and dress seasonally-appropriate. In this case, I’d say go more Jackie O than Marilyn, if you catch my drift. Accessorize accordingly, nothing too flashy, and fix up your hair and make-up in an appealing style. Looking tasteful and lovely shows that you care enough to put in the effort. “’I don’t understand how a woman can leave the house without fixing herself up a little, if only out of politeness.” –Coco Chanel
Easy on the booze: If there is alcohol at the gathering, there is nothing wrong with having a drink if you are of age. Obviously, his family is okay with alcohol if they serve it! Drinking with your boyfriend’s folks is completely okay, as long as you do not have too many. Be aware of where you are, and that where you are isn’t a frat party. If your boyfriend doesn’t drink any booze, you shouldn’t either—just out of respect. Do not stick your nose up to his family’s choice of wine, beer, or whatever else—if you don’t like it, don’t drink it. And I’ll conclude this tip with the most important three words pertaining to this issue: Don’t. Get. Sloppy.
Write a thank you note: Everyone appreciates a good, old fashioned, handwritten note. After the meet and greet is over and you are finally at ease with the idea of your boyfriend’s fam, sit down and write a thoughtful thank you note for their hospitality. It doesn’t matter what they gave you—a gift, some dinner, their guest room for the night—get to writing, girls! Don’t let three weeks pass without mailing your note and don’t be too sappy and fake in the note. Just a classy and thoughtful thank you is all that is needed. Following up with a thank you note is a little gesture that goes a long way.