A Letter to My Roommate of Four Years

It's hard for me to think about leaving you. Even as I type this, I have to fight back tears. It's hard to leave the person whom you've spent the last four years living with.

There are not two better roommates than us. We share a name and middle name, so we've already defeated any competition. We're the perfect balance, and we complement each other nicely. I don't feel complete without you, my other half.

Freshman year, moving in, it was weird to meet the person whom I only knew through pictures on Facebook. I always wondered how it was going to work with us. I'd heard horror stories of roommates, and I prayed you wouldn't be the worst part of my first college experience. I'll never forget us going hours without talking, to only end up watching a movie on my laptop together, still not talking. I guess we really first talked when we went to that Welcome Weekend stuff. FIY, App State, that stuff does work.

We became who we are after that year. People always associated us with each other. We went everywhere and did everything together. As the neat freak I am, I'd clean up your side of the room along with mine. As the extrovert you are, you dragged me out on the weekends to meet new people. I'd like to think I rubbed off some of my neatness on you the way you rubbed off some of your extrovert onto me. Judging by how many times I still put your dishes in the dishwasher, I guess I didn't rub off on you that much.

I'd still like to think you learned some things from me. I sure learned a lot from you.

Sophomore year we stayed in the same place, but with new people. It was my favorite year, despite some of the hurdles we faced in our friendship. I learned a lot about who you are, and how important you are to me. I learned how to accept certain things I could not control. I learned how to chill out more and go with the flow. We went on a lot of adventures that year, made new friends, and formed new relationships. We still had some sloppy drunk crying moments, but we stuck with each other.

I'm still a little surprised you wanted to live with me for this long. I got the sense your hand may have trembled a little when you signed that lease to our apartment. 

Junior year we were in a new place, physically and mentally. I became a doggy co-parent with you, and you taught me how to do laundry and operate a dishwasher. I thought I had learned everything I could about you, but you were still teaching me. This was a rough year for us, I know. I stuck with you through all your hardships, as you did with mine. You sat with me while I cried my heart out one night after getting my heart ripped out. I stayed by your side through your difficult spells where you didn't want to talk to me. I stayed with you through your worst days.

Senior year, and I still can't believe we've made it this far. We beat the odds, staying best friends through four years of living together. You've put up with my OCD, the need to have everything be clean and perfect, my too loud TV, my weird obsessions, and my over-protective dog-mom instincts.

You've taught me a lot about myself. I've grown a lot in college, but most of that is because of you. I didn't grow up with my siblings, so I was used to being an only child. Through living with you, I experienced what it was like to have a sister. You brought me back down to earth a couple of times, made me see what is truly important, and you brought me out of my shell. I am who I am today because of you.

Four years is a long time to live with someone. The thought of living somewhere without you terrifies me and breaks my heart. We're practically a married couple. We even have a dog together. I feel like I'm going through a divorce.

I'll miss you more than you'll ever know. I'll miss coming home to you. I'll miss venting to you about my life. I'll miss tiptoeing around your naptime schedule. I'll miss putting your dishes and laundry away. I'll miss our apartment always smelling like you. I'll miss our dog greeting me as I come through the door, scratching my legs and occasionally peeing on my feet from excitement. I'll miss co-parenting with you. I'll miss putting on My 600lb Life and having you freak out. I'll miss being with you.

I'll miss you.

I know you'll miss me too, even though you said you'd miss the Keurig out of everything. It's going to be weird being without each other, and we may have a slightly unhealthy co-dependence thing going on. Either way, these were the best four years of my life. I owe that to you.

Thank you for being my roommate of four years. Thank you for being my best friend.