It's Time to Stop Being so Bitter About Valentine's Day

There’s nothing more wonderful than Valentine’s Day…in theory. In reality, it’s the kind of holiday that couples love and singles regard with a little bit of disdain. But hey, it’s our right to be a little childish — Valentine’s Day is, after all, all-exclusive.

The problem with Valentine’s Day lies not in its divisive nature, but in the attitudes that flare up as a consequence of the holiday. It’s an unintentional goal post for measuring where we are in the relationship area of our life, and that also makes it an aggressive period of self-evaluation…and evaluation of others.

Admitting you don’t want to be single on Valentine’s Day isn’t part of the singles’ February anthem, and it’s akin to admitting you have leprosy. Suddenly, your unhappiness at not having someone to share your life with becomes neediness. It means you’re insecure; you’re one of those girls. On Valentine’s Day, you’re just as likely to hear the words: “oh, so you need to validate yourself?” as you are to see those little candy heart phrases. This isn’t just echoed in conversation, but in magazines and articles about the topic. It’s engrained in our society, and it’s hard not to hear the message loud and clear: if you don’t want to celebrate your singleness, then you’re weak.

To all the girls who feel this way on Valentine’s Day: that’s absolutely ridiculous! There’s nothing wrong with “wanting a guy.” That’s not boy-obsessed. It’s not needy. If society was absolutely honest with itself, it would admit that pretty much nobody really wants to be alone on Valentine’s Day or the other 364 days out of the year. As much as we pretend that we’re too confident to have a care, no one wants to be the old bachelor or that lady with the cats.

For many people, finding a partner is one of life’s most important goals, up there with getting a job and moving out of your parent’s basement. We’re hardwired to feel that way, and there’s nothing wrong with confessing that you’ve been keeping an eye on that goal. If more singles did that on Valentine’s Day, we might be a bit less up in arms every time a bouquet got delivered.

There’s another more important reason to admit that you’re worried about finding that special someone — because then you can admit to yourself that you will one day find that person who completes you. Finding love is awkward, terrifying, and not nearly always fun as it sounds. But it’s jut another journey in life, like learning to drive, going to college, or getting your first job. And the reward at the end is worth it.

So if you feel the need to skip Ariana Grande’s “Thank U, Next” and go straight to Taylor Swift’s “You Belong With Me,” then go for it! It’s your Valentine’s Day, and you deserve it!