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It’s Okay to Be Selfish

You owe it to the relationship you’re in to be selfish.

Yeah, being selfish isn’t the most favorable trait to have, but it can pay off. In relationships, being selfish can be hard at first but eventually all people affected will benefit from your decision to act in YOUR best interest. Relationships can’t compromise solely on compromising. You should compromise on some aspects of your relationship (like where you’re celebrating the holiday season or where you’ll celebrate your anniversary) but in other aspects you should be selfish and not back down.   

A friend of mine, Sarah*, was lamenting about her current relationship problem to me. She thought she liked this guy but after a few weeks of mutual flirting, Sarah realized that she didn’t click with him. Unfortunately, this was Sarah’s best friend’s cousin, so Sarah was worried about making things awkward for everyone. Ultimately, Sarah realized that being selfish and not pursuing the relationship was more important.

Another friend, Rachel* was dating an atheist for a while. This may not be a big deal to some, but Rachel is a devout Catholic and she was uncomfortable dating someone who didn’t share her religious beliefs. It wasn’t his fault that he was an atheist but Rachel knew that she couldn’t be truly happy in a relationship unless they shared similar religious views. Rachel ended up breaking up with him because she also saw the benefits of being selfish.

Being selfish in relationships doesn’t strictly apply to boyfriend/girlfriend scenarios. It pays to be selfish in friendships too.

Casey* had a friend Maria* who was seemingly perfect. Maria made straight A’s in addition to having an incredible social life and always looking fantastic. Oh, and she got eight hours of sleep a night. Casey got exhausted being Maria’s friend because perfection is frustrating to deal with after a while. Casey made the decision to be selfish and terminate the friendship. Casey now says it was the best decision because she’s learned to love herself and appreciate herself.

So be selfish. If something is going to bother or is bothering you in a relationship, be selfish and let the person know. Don’t compromise on something if you don’t want to – if you feel strongly about something, stick to your beliefs. The people who really matter will understand why you’re being selfish.    

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