We’ve all been through it at one point or another and at the time it feels like our world is ending and we won’t ever recover from it: a breakup. Recently, a few of my close friends have ended their long-term relationships and have come to me for advice and a shoulder to cry on. No one likes watching the people you love have their heart broken. However, it’s a part of life and no matter how it happened, it happened and it’s time to begin the recovery process. Here’s a few tips on dealing with heartache:
How to deal with a Breakup
Stay busy. Focus on school work, join a club or intramural sports team. If you spend time doing something you enjoy you’ll make more friends and learn about yourself in the process. Your girlfriends are also a key part in helping you to get your mind off everything. Odds are they have been through the same thing you’re going through and they will do anything to help.
Don’t jump into another relationship. The worst thing you can do is move right into another relationship before you have had time to properly heal and get over the previous one. You’re insecurities and heartache will follow you and most likely create problems with the new guy.
Remove that person from your life. Unless it was mutual, and both of you are going to work on maintaining a friendship. The easiest way to not make yourself miserable by going through all of your old messages and pictures is to delete them so you won’t be tempted in the first place. Let the past remain in the past.
Focus on the positive. Time heals everything, so in the meantime use this new independence to grow and improve yourself. Your past relationship was a learning experience so take what you learned and use it to your advantage in your next relationship. Think about the things that you like and dislike as well as things you will do differently. Being single can be a fun time and we have the rest of our lives to be tied down! Live it up.
How to help a friend going through a Breakup
Be there when she needs you. Being there for you is the easiest and most effective way to help. Listen to her, console her and offer advice when needed but make sure it’s helpful. Things not to say: “I told you so”, “You’re boyfriend was a jerk anyway”. Don’t be afraid to talk about the situation, but at the same time don’t dwell on it or bring up the past too much.
Get her mind off of it. Go hiking, go shopping or go to that restaurant you both have been dying to go but have never found the time.
BE POSITIVE. Things you should say: “You’re beautiful and awesome and you’ll find a guy who loves you for who you are one day” and you can never overuse “I love you”. They need to be reminded of the awesome things that you love about them.