Since I arrived home a week ago, I’ve had countless people ask me how my semester was, countless people express how jealous of me they are, and countless people request that I stop talking about Spain.
If someone had asked me in September if I loved being abroad, I would have given a mixed response: Yes I am glad to have the opportunity to be here, but I don’t think Madrid is the right city for me. Yes all the new people I meet are great, but they are nothing compared to my home friends. Yes Europe is really pretty and has some cool sights, but Amherst is beautiful in the fall and I miss the changing seasons. In reality, I was miserable. I was terribly homesick, longing for my mom, my dad and American food. If it was allowed, and not a total cop-out, I would’ve been on the first flight back to JFK.
I consider myself a fairly independent person, and I thought being in Europe would be a breeze. It was the perfect opportunity for me to fly solo with no responsibility to be anything or do anything for anyone else. But the issue was I’m not used to being uncomfortable. My life has been easy, with great friends and an amazing team to always go back to. My parents have never been more than a few hours away for an extended period of time. I fortunately have been able to communicate with pretty much every person I’ve come into contact with at home. For the first time in my life, I had to make friends with no lacrosse team or St. Pat’s crew to depend on. I had to live with a new family that did not speak a word of English. I lacked the ability to communicate my wants and needs to the people I lived with, forget about a waiter or an attendant in a store. And for the first time in my life I was living in a major city, commuting by train to get to class and living 30 minutes from my new friends. For a month I sulked around and wished I was home in Amherst Massachusetts, spending my weeknights in Frost and my weekends at football games and social dorm parties. Not every moment was miserable, in fact I was having a lot of fun, I just felt I could’ve been much happier. The whole “stretching my comfort zone” thing was something I’d always thought I had done, but I hadn’t really done it until now.
I can’t quite name the moment everything changed, because it was more gradual than a single happening. But eventually I started to really enjoy myself. I think what happened is I realized that being abroad is still life, and shit happens in life that isn’t perfect. After a month of wasting my energies on being unhappy, I gladly welcomed the transition to loving life abroad. And it was hands down the best four months of my life. The first “shitty” month included. I learned more about the world, new cultures and myself in four short months than I had in the first 20 years of my young, wonderful life.
I was fortunate enough to be placed in the most amazing family situation. For anyone who actually is taking the time to read this, if you don’t know Devyn Gardner you better find her the first day of spring semester because she is probably the best person on the Amherst campus. Devyn and I slept about 3 feet away from each other and spent more time together this semester than we did in South 111 freshmen year. I cannot express how grateful I am to call her my Spanish partner in crime. We had the two best people as our host mom and dad. Regina and Carlos are the most genuine and kind hearted people I know, and I cannot wait to return to Madrid to visit my new adopted parents.
I was lucky enough to visit 17 amazing cities that I hope I will have the chance to return to in the future. Each place I visited now holds a special place in my heart with wonderful memories and wonderful people. Wandering around Alhambra in Granada, riding bikes along the river in Madrid, standing on tables with my Amherst friends at Oktoberfest, scaling cliffs in Portugal at the westernmost point in Europe, and eating the most amazing gelato of my life in Rome are just a few of the moments that stand out from the semester. Standing at the top of the cliffs in Dalkey Harbour, a coastal suburb right outside Dublin, was the moment I realized how truly blessed I was to be abroad. At the bottom of the cliffs I called my dad (waking him up at 7 AM) and couldn’t even put into words how happy I was. That was probably the highlight of my fall.
I went into the semester saying it would be “the semester of yes.” That’s how it started, but what my time abroad really taught me is to say yes to the right things. This semester made me realize what is important to me, what makes me happy, and the type of person I want to be. It sounds so cliche, but it couldn’t be more true. I have a new way of looking at things, and I hope that I don’t lose that too quickly. Madrid showed me the time of my life and introduced me to more amazing things and people than I could begin to name. I left Spain with a new group of friends that I will never forget and cannot wait to visit. I was introduced to a completely new culture in one of the most lively cities in the world. Madrid became home, and I know I will get back to that home in the future. I am eternally grateful to my parents for giving me the opportunity of a lifetime. Hasta pronto, Madrid. Gracias por el semestre de mi vida. Te quiero mucho.