From a young age, I have always known that I was meant to leave my hometown of St. Petersburg, Florida and go see the world. Unlike many of my friends, I hardly even considered attending any of the Florida state schools, not because they are not incredible institutions but because I had felt like I was running out of oxygen in a city that was stealing it from my lungs.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love my parents, my family, my friends. My desire to leave had nothing to do with the deep connections and relationships that I had in Florida. It was simply that I had no more room to grow there.
Now, I’m here in my shoebox of a dorm room, in my dream city, at my dream school and I do not regret my decision for a second. As cheesy as it sounds, I am a big believer that all things happen for a reason and that everyone ends up where they are supposed to be; I have to after all that’s happened in the past two years.
But if I’m so sure that I am where I’m supposed to be then why do I feel so guilty about leaving?
Is it because we are taught as a society to not do anything too radical? To choose the state school? The safe bet? Or is it because we are leaving the ones we love, only to be connected by a weekly Facetime call? Maybe it’s a collection of all these things, well I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to be happy and to put yourself first.
Now how do you use that guilt as a good thing? You have to transform those negative feelings that are pulling you down, into a way to motivate you to continue strengthening the relationships you have at home. When you start feeling bad about leaving home, call your parents or friends. Tell them about your day and remind them how much they mean to you. Make it a priority everyday to do something special for those that you care for, who are still at home. Send your dad a Grateful Dead song that reminds you of him. Send your mom a picture of your #OOTD and remember that they will always be there for you. Call your hometown friends and reminisce about times spent together.
Now, especially at American University there are many resources to help those who are feeling lonely or down about leaving home. These resources include the Counseling Center, Center for Student Involvement, Center for Diversity & Inclusion, Kay Spiritual Life Center, and the Health Promotion & Advocacy Center and many more. All of these resources, along with the many clubs available at AU can all be support systems for you to help you adjust to college life. Remember, that it’s okay to ask for help and to reflect on your transition into college.
Moving out of your hometown is a big step, one that can be scary and exciting all at the same time. But you have to learn to not listen to the voices in the back of your head and let go of your irrational fears that your choice is hurting anyone. You made the decision that was best for you. Go out. Meet new people. Take some really cool and radical classes that your parents would disapprove of. Join some clubs. Try new things.
Learn to accept yourself and your decision and forgive yourself for outgrowing an environment that was no longer nurturing your needs, all while making time for those at home.
Remember that you are exactly where you’re meant to be and do not let anyone tell you otherwise.