Her Campus American knows your struggle with your notrious ex(es). So, we want to share a guide with you: the five types of exes and exactly how to handle them while maintaining your sanity. Luckily, with AU’s percentage of male and female students, if you’re a straight woman, there are fewer chances of having a male ex on campus in the first place!
1. The Lovesick Ex
He’s not happy that your relationship is over, and he won’t let you forget it. Regardless of who originally broke things off, he wishes he still had his bae. From texting you, to liking every one of your Instagram posts and making eyes at you when you see him at parties, you can’t seem to shake the Lovesick Ex.
The Fix: This guy may interpret friendliness as interest, and that is the last thing you want. Keeping your distance from this guy for a while may not be a bad idea. Withdrawing yourself can help you remember that you broke up for a reason while also reminding your ex that things are really over between you two.
2. The Ambiguous Ex
You have no idea what is going on with this guy. One day he’s making an effort to be your friend, and the next he won’t even look at you when you walk past each other on the Quad. He isn’t making it easier for you to decide if you want to try to be friends with him.
The Fix: It might be a good idea to sit down with your ex and have a discussion about if you two would like to try being friends and how your friendship is going to move forward. However, if you aren’t the confrontational type, it’s time to think about if you really want to be friends or not with this guy. Then, you should send out the appropriate signals. If you want to cut all ties with this guy, make it clear to him and avoid contact if you can.
3. The Disappearing Ex
Whether you were in a long-distance relationship or have a completely different schedule than your ex, you haven’t seen or heard from him in quite some time.
If you’re coming to the realization that your ex is really gone from your life, here are some ways to cope.
The Fix: Remember that you two broke up because you thought you would be better off apart. Trust your judgment. Enjoy some time away from your ex and remember that it may make it easier to get over him if you don’t have to see him every day. On the other hand, if his absence from your life is having a more detrimental effect on your emotional health than you would have expected, consider seeing a school counselor, or try talking to your ex if you are having second thoughts about ending the relationship.
4. The Friendly Ex
This type of ex hasn’t tried to keep his distance from you and you haven’t tried to stay away from him either. You’ve accepted the fact that you work well with your ex, even if it isn’t in a romantic way, and you can’t stand the idea of not having him in your life. You appreciate each other’s company and personalities regardless of your history…but if you’re being honest there are some days when you wonder why you two ever broke up…
The Fix: If some days you are having a hard time being just friends with this ex, make sure you’re treating him like a friend just like you would treat any of your other friends. Being together 24/7 is different than hanging out for a couple of hours a day.
5. The Hookup Ex
Okay, so this guy isn’t really your ex, but sometimes it feels like he is. Maybe you guys hooked up a few times last semester, and you still feel a little weird walking past him in TDR.
Let’s face it; you get emotionally attached pretty easily. Why can’t you just be cool? Wait, did you actually have feelings for him?!
The Fix: First off, it’s okay if you have some feelings for the guys you’ve hooked up with, you’re only human and you can’t blame yourself for feeling the way that you do. But you can try to do your best to cope with these feelings. Remember that you deserve someone who values your company and your personality in addition to your body. If you think about hooking up with him again, you should be aware of your goals: are you looking for a relationship or just a quick hookup? If you see yourself more as a relationship person, hookups may be pushing you farther away from your goal. If you want a hookup, be prepared to deal with any emotional repercussions.