Sometimes your best friend completely falls in love with someone who doesn’t get along with you. Certain situations transpire and feelings get hurt and the completely avoidable day comes when your best friend chooses their significant other over your friendship. The days of texting you about their issues and Facetiming you after a long day are replaced with only their new relationship. This new person in their life stirs up issues between you and your best friend and soon the friendship ends out of unreconcilable the differences. Best friend divorce leaves divided assets, but they gain their significant other to replace you. You experience the loneliness, but they are so consumed by their new love that they don’t have to deal with it. What once was an inseparable friendship, even from a distance, is separable. This leaves the single friend to do the best friend things alone and to be heartbroken by the loss of their person. Those things you used to enjoy with your best friend now become punishment to endure. You’re way more broken because you have no one to lean on, like they do. You’re forced to move on from the friendship, but plagued by the pain of not being good enough for them. At first there are things that occur that instantly upset you because your best friend is no longer a part of your life. Here are ten things you experience when losing your best friend:
1. Losing your single buddy. Your single buddy was always willing to snuggle with you on the couch while you watch a romantic movie. Your single buddy held your hand while you waited for a response after sending a risky text. Losing your single buddy means you lose your party friend, who helped you meet someone or go on double first dates with. You are forced to eat the whole bag of microwaved popcorn while watching a movie alone.
2. Seeing pictures of your ex-best friend and their significant other on social media. You have to watch your best friend post pictures with the person that replaced you. It is absolutely painful to see the person that changed your best friend taking them from you over and over again. Nothing is worse than seeing your ex-best friend loving life without you. Here’s what to do instead: avoid social media for a while. Don’t torture yourself repeatedly, instead live in the moment, branch out, make new friends or better yet find yourself a little deeper. Try to steer clear of their Instagram until you are comfortable with the fact that your ex-best friend isn’t your best friend anymore.
3. Hearing gossip and wanting to tell them. There is nothing worse than seeing news or hearing news that you NEED to tell your ex-best friend. No longer can you text them and tell them, you are forced to laugh on your own or be appalled on your own. It sucks when you can’t tell your person all the crazy things you saw on your timeline or that happened on campus. Learning to go on without them is crucial and over time it will get easier.
4. Meeting your significant other. No longer can you send your ex-best friend their picture or rather every picture on their social media. You always needed your best friend’s stamp of approval, not that your stamp meant anything to your old best friend. No one knows what kind of person you’re looking for better than your best friend. However, now you have to figure out the new significant other’s intentions and personality on your own.
5. Explaining it to your mom. You have to break your mom’s heart that her adopted child is no longer hers; it crushes her! She just wants to see you get along because she’s devoted countless hours to cooking for you guys, going to your extracurriculars, hosting them for nights on end and hearing your pointless drama. Your mom may be as upset as you and she wants to know everything that happened. Try to let her in on the loop, she’s losing a part of her too.
6. Telling your other friends. You’re entire friend group looked up to you both and knew you were the glue that held everything together. They are shocked to find out someone came between you guys and they act as if they were personally hurt by the situation. Your friends always swore that out of everyone your best friend and you would never be the ones to never drift. It hurts you because you lost your whole world while your ex-best friend gained a new world.
7. Taking their pictures off your wall. It isn’t really over until the pictures come down. What do you do with them once they come down? I have no idea.
8. Changing their contact in your phone. No longer is their name surrounded by weird emojis or hearts. You have to change it from their nickname to their real name, proof that times are really changing.
9. Deleting the texts. I cherish my text messages, they are written memories I have with someone. Having to hit the delete button means everything is really gone and just like they left their messages did too. There is no turning back once the messages are gone.
10. Having them come crawling back because the relationship ended. Just when you are getting comfortable without them they come back to you in shambles due to the heartbreak they experienced. The moment of concession, the “you were right.” It’s something no one wants to be right about because no matter how hard you tried to let them go, you hung on. You never want to see your person’s heart break and when they come back to you it’s bittersweet, but your choice to let them back in or not.