We have all experienced some type of breakup, whether it’s romantic or a friendship in our lives. Friendship breakups can sometimes be more painful than a romantic breakup depending on the situation. Sometimes you won’t even see the breakup coming and it will blindside you when it happens. I feel as if the biggest problem with a friendship breakup is how you must continue to move forward and just accept the fact that this friendship is done. When you are in high school and go off to college, there will be people that you just don’t stay in touch with because you have both moved on. That is totally okay, as all friendships aren’t meant to last forever. For the friends you have had for a long time, in my case 11 years, it hurts to see that relationship end. There is no catch-all fix for breakups or uniform way for everyone to easily move on. I have come up with a few items to help me process my breakups, and I hope that if you are going through one as well this can help you.
- Remember that your feelings are valid. You may not have gotten an answer as to why this breakup happened, but the worst thing for you to do is to keep pondering over why. You may not get the closure you want, but you will eventually need to accept it and move on. You have the right to be upset, angry, anything you are feeling. If this friendship meant a lot, it may be harder and take longer to process.
- Surround yourself with friends who are there for you. While it may seem like the world is ending, you have other friends who are there for you and want to support you. There may be mutual friends that are now in the middle or don’t know what is going on. If the person keeps coming up in conversation, it may be best to ignore it if you don’t want to start any drama. If it makes you uncomfortable, let the person know so they can avoid bringing up the person’s name in conversation.
- Be more conscious with your social media uses. One of the biggest things that helps me through friendship breakups is the fact that I have the option to go offline. Yes, it is hard to see this person in real life, but the ability to tailor your social media to not have to see their Instagram makes it a little bit easier. Do not be afraid to use the mute button on Instagram if blocking or unfollowing seems too harsh.
- Something can be learned from this breakup. While it hurts like a b*tch and can take weeks to get through, this gives you a chance to address your behavior. While we will all go through at least a few very painful friendship breakups ask yourself if there is a repeating habit you have or if you gravitate towards certain types of people. While taking a deeper look at your potential toxic behaviors, know that sometimes there is simply nothing you can do to prevent a breakup.
- There is a chance you will never reconnect. Being in college makes this slightly harder when you see the same people on a day-to-day basis, but once you are out in the post-grad world, you may never interact with this person again. This may sound scary, but it is for the best. Also, it is important to note that even though this breakup happened, it does not mean you should forget all the fun times you had together! While it may be hard to imagine at first, through photos and videos you can witness the good parts of the friendship before it ends.
One quote I refer to for comfort is, “we have three types of friends in life: friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for life”. I wouldn’t wish friendship breakups on anyone, but we are strong and capable of getting through this!