Taking a Relationship Break: What to Do and What to Expect

Couples decide to take breaks for many different reasons. There are a lot of mixed opinions about breaks, some that might scare you, but you can’t rely on those opinions. A break is different for every couple, and just because it turned out one way for someone else doesn’t mean it will turn out that way for you.

The first thing you want to do once you and your significant other decide to take a break is set some ground rules. Talk about what kind of communication is allowed, if any. Talk about the length of the break and when you will come together again to talk. This is important because not setting a date can cause some anxiety about who is going to contact who and when. It is way safer to have an agreed upon date and time. One of the important things you can do is make sure the rules are clear: Are you allowed to date other people? Who are you telling about the break? The last thing you need at this point in your relationship is a Ross and Rachel episode.

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One thing you should know for yourself personally is what you want to learn/get out of the break. Think about why you’re taking a break, what the problems are, and what you can do to fix them. A break is a time where you can learn more things about yourself outside of your relationship, so don’t forget to focus on yourself as well.

It is natural and perfectly okay for you to be sad during the break. Depending on your situation, you might feel as if you are approaching the end of your relationship. It’ll be tough not to be able to talk to your significant other, especially if you consider that person your best friend. You’ll want to share your thoughts, feelings, and things that happen to you with them, but make sure you stay true to the rules and boundaries of the break. Breaking these communication rules is cheating yourself and the other person out of personal time and reflection. It could even be viewed as disrespectful and selfish. Unless it is a real emergency, do your best to keep those rules in place.

Although it is okay to be sad, don’t let those emotions get in the way of your time to yourself. Seriously, don’t take it for granted because you might regret it later. There is no use in being upset and driving yourself crazy over a breakup that hasn’t even happened, or might not happen at all. Use this time to focus on yourself. Try some new things, go out with friends, spend time with family, or just relax. While it is a time for personal thought and reflection, it is also a chance to pamper and spoil yourself without having to worry about someone else.

When your break is finally over, instead of diving into your emotions and feelings, go somewhere public the two of you like, like a restaurant or coffee shop, and just talk about your week. Talk about all the things you did over the week and just catch up. It’ll give you that time to enjoy with your significant other and relax, making the following conversation easier and less tense. No matter what happens, don’t forget your self-worth. No matter what happens you are strong and beautiful and deserve a relationship where the both of you are happy and in love. If that is what you feel like then awesome and good for you for deciding to fight for your relationship. If it doesn’t feel like that, then it is time to move on. It won’t be easy, but it will be what is best for the both of you.