It’s time to ask the age old question: ’What is love?’ Today we find many ways to describe it. Characters in movies and books ponder over the question and chat with friends, lovers and family about what it means. Some describe it as being with someone who has the same interests as you, some describe it as being with those who bring out the best in you and others think of it as being with someone who brings out the most in you. Whatever definition you like, we still use the one, single word, “love” to describe every form of the verb and noun. We use “love” to describe our family relationships, romantic relationships and platonic relationships, but some cultures have gone more into depth with trying to put a name to the different kinds of love. I find this extra exploration interesting, so let’s look at the 6 types of Love the Greeks claimed below!
- Eros
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Eros is the form of love that is sexual passion. Many today consider this different from the love that people can be quick to name. This lust downplays the significance that can come with this at times, but the Greeks recognized this as a powerful and fiery Love. The Greeks actually feared this love to an extent and named it after their god of fertility, but some argue that in a way people long for this type of Love. It is what most of our modern day love stories are about, people falling passionately and helplessly in love and sharing an incredible connection together.
- Philia
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Philia is the Love found in deep friendship, consisting of loyalty, sacrifice and emotional vulnerability. This type of Love can also be found in healthy parent-child relationships. Philia was favored more than Eros by the Greeks and I can see why it was viewed so positively. Many of us have said or listened to people say that relationships come and go, but friends are there when breakups or other unfortunate events happen. Philia is beyond surface level friendship however, it was seen as the type of trusting Love you would go into battle next to someone with, knowing that they have your back and you have theirs. Because of this, oftentimes Philia is much harder to come by than ordinary friendships.
- Ludos
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Ludos is the playful type of love found between kids and non serious lovers. It encompasses the fun and flirty vibes, the “no strings attached” situationships and spontaneity. Ludos was not seen as nearly as important as Philia, but seeing as Ludos can bring a lot of laughter and butterflies, some can argue that it’s a necessary and refreshing part of Love and life.
- Agape
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Agape is selfless love. While this may intertwine with Philia a bit, it is a very pure and whole form of Love in of itself. Agape is not the Love you give because you know someone will give it back or because you genuinely like the person, rather Agape is the selfless Love. The type of Love that would prompt you to help a stranger in need or someone you don’t like when they’re in need of help. Studies imply that we are running shorter and shorter on this type of Love as empathy levels plummet, so we could all use a bit more Agape in our lives.
- Pragma
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Pragma is mature and long lasting Love. We’ve heard of Oxytocin overwhelming the first stages of a relationship with blurry thoughts, butterflies, and rose colored glasses, but what happens after those stages are done? Pragma is the type of Love that grows and matures together, so that the Love gets deeper, but less frivolous with time. For those of us who want long term relationships, Pragma is something we aspire to have.
- Philautia
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Philautia is self-love, not in a narcissistic or apathetic way, but in a celebratory and embracing way which after overflowing inside, turns outward into positive relationships with others as well. Aristotle put it as, “all friendly feelings for others are an extension of a [person’s] feelings for himself.” This is starting to be reinforced more culturally as we learn that the way we view ourselves impacts the way we see everything else and this is another type of Love to grow and mature into.
Reading about Greek views of Love definitely gets me thinking and inspires me to grow into the versatility of Love more, but make sure to let us know what YOU think as well. If there’s a type that specifically resonated with you, feel free to let us know on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter!