Too often, when looking for ideas about throwing your own Friendsgiving, the only articles and Pinterest results are about the wine one should bring, the gifts for the host, the calligraphic invitations and cutesy fall place settings. Yeah, no. Friendsgiving college style is a little more… lax. Think red solo cups, paper plates, plastic beer pong tables as the dinner table and folding chairs ‘creatively borrowed’ from someone’s house. Last weekend my friends and I got together and threw our first Friendsgiving, and despite our misgivings, it was a massive success.
It’s unclear where the term Friendsgiving (a portmanteau of friend and giving) comes from, but it’s roots are deeply tied to popular culture. According to Real Simple, this concept was popularized by the November 1994 Thanksgiving episode in Friends where they threw a traditional Friendsgiving potluck because no one wanted to go home, but the term was never used in that episode. In fact, the first time the term was written was in 2007 in social media, but it was launched to national spotlight by a Bailey’s Irish Cream commercial.
For those who aren’t clear, Friendsgiving is as simple as it sounds: your friends coming together to drink and eat and avoid long drives home or complicated family relationships. After all, Friendsgiving is about celebrating your chosen family, especially in college when the bonds you form feel stronger than anything. And you get to brag about cooking a fantastic meal for a lot of people.
Here are my tried and true tips for how to throw the best Friendsgiving:
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Group chats – Group chats, as annoying as they can be when you’re trying to sleep and two people are sending memes back and forth, were invented for a reason. Group chats are perfect for planning big events because they guarantee that everyone in the group will stay connected and informed.
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Lots of patience – Planning events as you get older becomes more and more difficult because of all the responsibilities. College is really difficult because while there might not be family responsibilities like who is going to babysit the kids, people still have classes and jobs to work around. There’s going to be about twelve million different schedules to work around, someone who claims they won’t come but will and people who couldn’t remember the date of an event if it was on a post-it note glued to their forehead. A helpful hint is try to plan Friendsgiving for the weekend before Thanksgiving break.
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Remember dietary restrictions – Friendsgiving is about having everyone together for one big meal, and that meal won’t be a lot of fun if some people can only drink the water and pick out the lettuce in the salad. For many people, their only current diet restriction is apparently fruits and vegetables (seriously, is there anything green in on-campus besides the lettuce in the Taco Bell crunch wraps?), but for many others, dairy, gluten, nuts, meat, and other animal products are a real concern. This doesn’t mean you have to toss out the turkey but just remember to make some alternatives.
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$$$ – This will get expensive really quickly, especially depending on how much food you have to make, so either make this event potluck style or have one or two people buy all the food and have everyone pay them back.
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Get creative with food – Friendsgiving is intended to be a traditional event with everyone bringing food that reminds them of home, but your traditional isn’t everyone’s traditional. Bring recipes you love and encourage everyone to do the same.
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Don’t bite off more than you can chew – You’re not Martha Stewart; chances are if you struggle with microwaving pizza rolls, you won’t be able to single-handedly pull off a three-course meal for 20 people. Enlist all your friends, especially ones that are good at cooking or baking. Even if they’re not, everyone can cut potatoes or boil water.
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Host does the turkey – Traveling with a turkey is way too much work, and it is really complicated and messy; have whoever is hosting Friendsgiving cook the turkey.
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Praying v. Google Doc – To avoid five crock pots of mashed potatoes and ten packets of rolls, make a shareable Note on iPhone or a Google Doc or consider just crossing your fingers.
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Try and find more kitchens – This won’t work out, but it will be very stressful having everybody on top of each other in those tiny college kitchens. Try to have people cook at home or have another nearby house where people can cook and hangout together, as well.
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Some clever ideas – Have movies going on in the living room to keep people entertained; crowd-pleasers include Friends Thanksgiving episodes, football, Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. Drinking games can keep the party going and a group breakfast in the morning could start the day off strong. Pick events that you know your group will love. After all, this day is about celebrating your friends.
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Music – This one is self-explanatory; music makes every event better. Suggest to the friend who manages to mess up cereal to make a Friendsgiving playlist.