Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo

Working for tips teaches you things about yourself. One thing it taught me was how easy it is to lie to strangers. Now I don’t condone lying to friends and family but the grouchy man at table 3? Easy. There are a variety of reasons to tell a fib to a table. To deflect their anger, to up sell or simply just to get them to stop talking. There are plenty of times I say one of the following phrases and 100% mean it, that just doesn’t happen 100% of the time. Here are 6 lies I tell as a waitress.

1.) “Carryout is crazy tonight!”

Translation: In the hustle and bustle of things, I forgot to ring your order for a good 20 minutes. This usually happens when I want to have some space between appetizers and entrees. I think to myself “I’ll come back in a few minutes and ring in the food so they have a chance to enjoy their appetizer.” Truly my heart is in the right place. Your order however, is not in the right place at all. I went and got distracted by the 10 other things I had to do and your food remains unrung in, scribbled in my sever book. So what do I do? Blame it on something out of both our control. We are both victims of this. We are one. Damn you, DoorDash.

2.) “Sorry, the strict manager is here tonight.”

There is no strict manager. I just simply do not want to do whatever you’ve requested. The request either is reasonable but you’ve been an asshole all evening or it’s completely ridiculous and I wouldn’t do it for anyone. I also am not going to fight with cooks for you. I have a good relationship with the cooks at my work but I know one strange order during a rush could ruin that relationship forever. I don’t need them bashing me on their cig breaks. So the answer is no.

 3.) “I tried that cocktail and I love it!”

The only thing I love about this cocktail is that it is $12. I have never tried it because this is my job and I do not drink here nor come in when I am not working to dine. Wine at the gas station is $6 and I can’t taste the difference but why would I tell you that?

4.) “There’s a new cook training tonight.”

Your food is messed up because I went too fast ringing it in and I forgot to add the modification you wanted. If you seem cool, I’ll just tell you I messed up. A lot of people are receptive to this because we all have made mistakes and it is a small inconvenience to wait a couple extra minutes. I use my spidey senses to figure out if you are going to throw a fit. If I get that vibe, it’s the trainees’ fault. Can’t be mad at the new guy right?

5.) “Yes, that entree is delicious.”

This is a lie I tell when someone asks me if a certain rather pricey dish containing meat is good. I haven’t eaten meat in 6 years. However, it is damn near $30. I will hype this meal up like I am scarfing it down in the back on a regular basis. I don’t feel very bad about this because the expensive entrees are usually ones I get lots of compliments on. I just happen to have no idea what it tastes like. 

6.) “I am sorry”                                

  No I am not. You are fine. You are breathing and all your limbs are attached. If I did something wrong I will genuinely apologize but very often I just say it because despite the tone of my waitress-related articles, I am very sweet to customers. To their face at least. I make my money this way. So when I apologize to you because the restaurant hasn’t had a certain entree in 10 years but you “had it last week”, or the last time you came you were displeased with something a server who is not me did, not only am I a liar, my pants are very much on fire. 

Sophie is a Senior education major at the University of Akron. She is passionate about animal, women's, and lgbtq+ rights. She has lived in Akron her whole life and one day wants to teach middle school somewhere warm. In her free time she likes to listen to rock music, workout and drink coffee
Similar Reads👯‍♀️