Career vs Love

This isn’t going to be one of those articles that says, “Pick your career, there are plenty of fish in the sea,” or, “Pick your partner, your career can wait when love won’t.” A decision like that is one of the hardest many people in life have to go through and there’s no easy answer. It all depends on your individual circumstances. Here are some tips to help you decide what’s best for you.

Is the experience you want to accept for your career temporary, whether it be a job contract, study abroad, or transferring schools? If it’s for a couple of years and you think you can handle it, consider long distance. It doesn’t work for everyone and it’s difficult, but it’s an option that will allow you to pursue your career while keeping the one you love in your life. Think about if you want to try it and talk to your partner about it.

Are you a city-living, globe-trotter who won’t be content with a steady life? Do you prefer a simple, warm existence with a loved one? Dealing with long hours and long distance can be stressful on any relationship, so think about where you want to be at the end.Think about where you want to go and what you want to do. All options are open -- you can still be in a relationship and travel the world. Sometimes, experiencing new things and challenges with your partner can make your life more enriching. It varies for every person and their love life.

Here are some things to think about when considering a long distance relationship: Five Things I Wish I Knew Before Starting a Long-Distance Relationship, How do you do a long distance relationship?, Advice On How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship.

If long distance isn’t an option, think about where you want to be in five years. Close your eyes and imagine your life at any point in the future. At twenty-seven years old, where will you be and what will you be doing? When you think about it, are you with your partner? Are you married? At forty? Seventy? What do feel you need to get accomplished and what can you compromise on?

Choosing between the two is a difficult decision, but if you think you might become bitter and regret what you’ve done -- don’t do it. In the end, it’s your life, so it should be up to you. Find a partner who will support your career decisions if you are more goal-oriented. Sometimes it doesn’t have to be either/or, but you have to be with the right person who will support you and your ambitions no matter what. Don’t forget that it’s a two-way street; you have to be there for them as much as they will be there for you. Don’t sacrifice your dream but don’t force your partner to sacrifice theirs. There are plenty of solutions to make both work.

But sometimes, no matter how much discussing and how much planning you do, you have to pick just one.

 

Let’s say you decide on love. Wonderful! You get to be with the person you care about most in the world. But what if you two break up down the line? Will you regret giving up your dream or will you be satisfied that you “took a chance on love”? If you choose love and it works out, will you regret it later? Do you think you might unconsciously build up a resentment towards your partner for “stopping” you? Is it possible to pursue your career later and if you can’t, will you be okay with that?

Now, if you decide on your career, great! But think about if this opportunity is once in a lifetime. Will you be able to recover from the big break up and properly enjoy your job? Can you forgive yourself for breaking yours and your partner’s hearts? Do you think you would be able to look at them far in into the future and not feel guilty? Will you be able to make time for yourself and a possible new relationship without constantly thinking about that love of your life you broke up with? These are hard questions to answer objectively because it’s easy to say, “Of course I’ll never stop loving them! Of course I’ll feel guilty even 50 years into the future!” But try, try as hard as you can to be objective when considering these questions.

Don’t choose love because you’re afraid of being alone or afraid of not succeeding. Similarly, don’t choose your career because you’re afraid the relationship won’t work out anyway or you’re afraid of missing “the only chance” at pursuing your career. There’s always a chance for love later and always a chance for going after your dreams. Remember to choose what’s most important to you.

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