I always knew that I was the type of person who was not really into reality TV shows, except when it comes to the Real Housewives franchise, which is my true guilty pleasure. But I noticed that I felt heavily distant from and resentful of reality dating television shows. I could not exactly pinpoint the main reason why, except for the fact that the idea of contestants finding love on television is such a fake concept, but I have come to the conclusion that in all actuality, reality dating tv shows humiliate Black women.
Writing that last statement was just as devastating when reading it. Shows like “The Bachelor” and “Love Island” perpetuate this reflective reality of how exhausting and hurtful it can be when dating in the real world as a Black woman. What I mean by this is that oftentimes Black women are seen as less desirable in a romantic context and are usually the last choice when it comes to attraction.
I have seen so many clips from “Love Island” in particular, where a Black woman contestant would always be picked last, or else they are the main ones who are always eliminated first. I really can’t imagine what it is like to be on national television trying to genuinely find love but then be humiliated and embarrassed by those who are ignorant of their gleaming beauty.
Another important thing to note is the fact that there is ingrained colorism when it comes to Black women contestants. There are numerous times where I see a light-skin Black woman contestant being picked over a dark-skin Black woman contestant by White and Black men, but especially Black men. I emphasized Black men because when viewers watch the show and become curious about a Black male contestant, they search through their Twitter, and find colorist tweets. The tweets would often include hateful and violent language towards dark-skin Black women, and it is truly awful when you get the chance to read those types of things. Now, this may be seen as very invasive to some but it just goes to show how Black women, mainly dark-skin Black women are viewed by Black men. And this type of colorist interaction between dark-skin Black women and Black men does not only happen in reality television but it also runs rampant in the real world and throughout their livelihoods.
Being eighteen years old and watching these types of shows really does not make me hopeful when it comes to finding a significant other. I can’t help but be pessimistic when I am constantly told by society that I am unwanted. At the end of the day, Black women are not disposable. Stop being neglectful to the fact that we deserve to be desired in a romantic context, especially for dark-skin Black women. Love should be a tangible experience that allows for Black women to be treated with such romance and gentle approach.