I’m assuming you are reading this article because you believe that you may fall under either category of those I have hurt or those who have hurt me. I know what you’re thinking when you read the title— “oh my god, why don’t you just talk to that person directly”— Well Jan, not everyone is mature enough to handle conversations as such and I don’t have time to wait around for that, but this letter will always be available. This letter may also be helpful to others, whether it be to help them come to the realization that holding onto past pain only affects your present self or maybe it’ll help them write their own letters. I will address each part individually, so you can choose to skip to the part that applies to you or read the whole letter. Those who I have hurt will be part A. and those who have hurt me, refer to part B. So without further ado:
A. To those that I’ve hurt,
I am not going to make excuses or tell you how you should feel because, quite frankly, you’re entitled to feel however you want to. If you feel that I have hurt you in the past, whether I believe I did or not and whether I am aware of it or not, I know that I can’t say that I did not hurt you and I genuinely am sorry. I know a general letter that you’re reading in an article on the internet may not mean much to you, so I do urge you to personally contact me if you feel like that is something that you need to do.
I do want you to know that as I grow as a person, I DO recognize where I went wrong and if I haven’t already, I will eventually. Whatever the situation was, I can say without an ounce of doubt that if I have wronged you in any way, I am sorry and although I cannot change what has been done, I can learn from my mistakes and move forward with the lessons I’ve learned and use them in the future so I can prevent myself from hurting someone in the same way. I am sorry that you had to be hurt in order to learn that lesson, but in an odd way, it’s helping me to become a better person everyday. Once again, I’m trying to grow and I can’t learn from my mistakes unless I recognize them. Please don’t be afraid to call my on my bull in a constructive way.
To conclude this letter, I want to leave one of my newly favorite quotes that I do believe applies here:
‘When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don’t get to decide that you didn’t.’
– Louis C.K.
You may not be able to tell someone whether you hurt them or not, but you can make the decision not to, and if you do? You can hold yourself accountable and choose to learn something from it.
B. To those that have hurt me,
It takes a lot to hurt me, so if you’re one of the people that fall into this category, then you put me through a hell of a lot. I’m not gonna tear you apart in this letter— like some of you still do to me TO THIS DAY— I’m simply going to address it and then say what I have to say. Whether you were once my friends or still are to this day, my family, people I don’t know, my peers, whoever you are and whatever your reason, I am no longer mad. I no longer hold a grudge. I do not hate you, I do not have the capacity to hate you or anyone in all honesty. It takes too much out of me and I can’t pretend to be happy while trying to hold a grudge, let alone actually be happy.
In order for me to move forward in life and continue to grow, I need to come to terms with what happened and I need to forgive you, so that is what I am doing in writing this letter. I forgive you, not for you, but for me. That does not mean that what you did, whatever it was, was okay. It does not mean that it is okay to do that to someone else once again. I will not allow anyone to hold any power over me and to allow them to feel as if they’re “winning” in a situation that is done and over with. You can continue to harp on it if that’s what will bring you joy in life, but I will be leaving it behind me even if you won’t. So, I forgive you for all of the pain, all of the tears, the stress, the disrespect. I’ve learned my lesson from these situations and they’re behind me now. Now it’s up to you to decide whether you will grow up too and leave it behind you as well.
If you’ve made it this far into the article, you’re an absolute trooper, I know it was a lot to read, especially for my readers who this may not be relevant to. I hoped this helped those who are looking to do the same— making amends and forgiving others— and if you are one of the people this applies to and are looking for more direct closure, once again, I urge you to reach out to me. It’s not being dramatic, it’s not being rude, it’s doing what you need to do to help yourself move forward. That is what is important.
Thank you to those who continuously read my articles and any new readers who have just clicked on and managed to make their way through this entire article. You are greatly appreciated. Until next time.
xoxo, Alliah ♡