Do you ever find yourself shrugging your shoulders and settling on the “boys will be boys” conclusion? Real Live College Guy Andy is here to show you that mature men do (in fact) exist. He has an uncanny ability to sort out the good guys from the bad apples and is here to bring you the best in college love advice.
I met this guy and we’ve hanging out (only made out), but I’m starting to have feelings for him. I told him how I feel about him and he told me, “Idk, I mean I’m not really looking for a relationship right now, I suppose. Idk I’m just kind of going day by day.” I told him I understand, but I still wanted to hang out with him and he said we can still hang out and stuff… I want more but I’m not sure what he wants. He said we can have “fun” but I don’t want to be just a booty call to him. I can’t pinpoint why I like him so much but I do. What should I do? – Not another booty call at Nottingham
Not another,
I hate to break this to you, but as the saying goes, this guy just isn’t that into you. Saying that he’s “not looking for a relationship right now” and “just kind of going day by day” are two of the biggest cop-out lies in the book.
It’s not that he isn’t looking for a relationship, he simply doesn’t want one with you. It pains me to be this harsh, but if he was genuinely interested in you, he wouldn’t be feeding you this nonsense. Guys don’t give these excuses to a girl whom they really like. They say this stuff to a girl when they have lukewarm feelings towards her and don’t see it going anywhere long-term. “Having fun” is exactly what you think; it’s friends with benefits or in your words, a “booty call.”
Trust me, I’ve been in your situation. One time, I thought a girl (who originally said she wasn’t looking for anything serious) would eventually be interested in a relationship the more we hung out. That didn’t happen. More recently, a girl told me she doesn’t really know what she wants and that she takes things “day by day.” Needless to say that fling also went absolutely nowhere.
Unfortunately, this guy is not the one for you. These excuses are not how a serious romance starts. I mean is that the story you are going to be telling your friends about your husband? That when you met in college he didn’t want a relationship, he just wanted to have fun?
It is tempting to think that we can change the minds of these type of romantic interests but you will only be left disappointed. While it may be hard to believe right now, trust me when I say you will have a much better story to share when the time comes.