Real Live College Guy Joe: When He Meets Your Parents

Ever wonder what guys think, how to deal with them, or whether instead of listening to you they just imagine you naked?  Our Real Live College Guy Joe will answer all your questions about men and relationships with wit, clarity, grace and physical attractiveness (can you tell he wrote this intro himself?) all while imagining you fully clothed!  Well, usually – he is a college guy.

I’ve been dating my guy for a few months now, and I want him to meet my parents. I’m worried about what he will think if I ask him to meet them.  Will he freak out or be flattered? How should I act when he meets them? If he’s nervous, how can I calm him down? I also haven’t talked about him too much to my parents – will he be insulted if they don’t really seem to know a ton about him? Help!
-Panicking at Purdue

In regards to two of your questions, if you’re dating a guy, of course you should introduce him to your parents, and of course he will be insulted if they don’t seem to know who he is. You don’t want your boyfriend to feel like some piece of meat. You want it to feel important — I mean him.  

For guys, the question, “Would you like to come meet my parents?” means only one very, very bad thing: “There is a two-hour block of time in the near future in which you will be definitely not be having sex.” Or, at least, probably not having sex. Otherwise, meeting the parents — especially now that we’re all pretend grownups in college — isn’t too stressful for a guy, so it shouldn’t be for you, either.

Asking a guy to meet your parents won’t weird him out as long as

  1. He is not a stranger, and this is not the first thing you have ever said to him,
  2. Your parents aren’t his parents, too, and
  3. You’ve been in a relationship for a while. Don’t go asking all of your casual hook-ups to meet your folks (“Mom and Dad, this is Jerry. He likes … uh … doggy sty—”.

As long as you guys are in a pretty stable and serious relationship, it’s only right he meets the sources of your being. Don’t get me wrong, though: bringing a guy to meet your parents doesn’t have to be romantic. If your parents are swinging through town and you want to subject somebody to Dad’s stories about ‘Nam and your conception, you can bring a boy who is not your boyfriend.