50 Signs You Love Cheese More Than People

Sincerest apologies to you lactose-intolerant folks because you’ll never experience the joy of ordering a plate of cheese with pasta on the side. With 1,775 variations to choose from, cheese has practically become our life. Hey, you can even take a class on cheese at some colleges. So shout-out to every cow, buffalo, sheep and goat—you’re the real MVP. Here are 50 totally rational reasons why we love cheese more than people.

1. Um, PIZZA. Duh.

2. Mac & cheese + pizza = utter perfection.

3. You use better descriptions when talking cheese than when describing people. You've got all the adjectives: rich, creamy, luscious, airy and beautiful.

4. Cheese has been there since the very beginning, from bagged cheese sandwiches in elementary school…

5. …to your current breakfast, lunch and dinner—all day, every day.

6. Cheese even runs in your family! Your great-great-grandma’s cheesy baked lasagna recipe has been passed down for generations.

7. Because gravy and cheese fries.

8. Cheese will never break up with you.

9. Cheese even helps you diet. Hello, feta—you beautiful 75 calorie single ounce.

10. Or when you’re craving to be large and in charge. Hey there, Dominos’ cheesy bread.

11. Because you’ve mastered making a Polly-O string cheese last for at least a few minutes.

12. Because mozzarella sticks.

13. You’ll only eat broccoli if it's topped with melted cheese.

14. You two make the perfect pair.

15. Because your dog loves it, too.

16. Because queso.

17. Cheese will never pathologically lie to you.

18. You judge “those” people. Like, those people who order a flavorless, simple, boring burger.

19. You base your travel plans on cheese: cheesesteak in Philadelphia, deep-dish pizza in Chicago and cheese curds in Wisconsin.

20. Because cheese is a universal language.

21. But honestly, why leave home when you can taste the whole world in just a few bites of cheese?

22. You have a monthly cheese box subscription.

23. Because Babybel wax is art.

24. Because grilled cheese.

25. The definition of shameless is your waiter shaving cheese on your food for a solid minute.

26. You always have the opportunity to discover a new cheese because of its myriad of origins, textures and tastes.  

27. Because Cheez-Its.

28. You own the Packers Cheesehead hat.

29. You accept cheese even when it's smelly. Because cheese will never tell you how much you stink after working out.

30.  You envision yourself eventually owning a wheel of Parmesan cheese.

31. You fantasize about the assortment of cheese that will be served at your wedding.

32. Because cheesecake…

33. …and because The Cheesecake Factory has 50 different flavors of goodness.

34. Finding cheese embedded in your food is the hidden gem, the cherry on top and the freakin' grand finale for your taste buds!

35. Because SpongeBob has his own line of mac & cheese.

36. Cheese won’t text you first and then proceed to ignore your next text.

37. Because ravioli.

38. It goes with ~literally~ everything.

39. Like, cheese pairs perfectly with wine…

40. …and, just like you, it gets better with age!

41. Cheese doesn’t compete. It gladly shares an appetizer platter with its cheese kin.

42. Cheese is special no matter its color…

43. …or its size.

44. You're constantly being tagged in articles about cheese.

45. Your drunk food is cheese.

46. You’ve definitely concocted some crazy cheese creations—like cheese curds dipped in queso—in your day.

47. Because Caprese salad.

48. Cheese ain't gonna cheat on you!

49. Cheese is your personal Rita Ora. Oooh, ooh, oh, cheese will never let you down!

50. And OH, it is SO gooooo-uda.