There is a time and a place for when it may require you to be the bigger person. Being the bigger person does not mean that you should let people walk all over you; but rather, evaluating your options and choosing to take the route that requires less animosity, anger and energy. Sometimes, when we get angry at people, we are giving them the power to control us as well. In the words of Ritu Ghatourey, “Don’t treat people as bad as they are…treat them as good as you are.” Karma will bless you sooner than you know it, especially if you remain the bigger person in the following situations:
1. When your best friend lands your dream job.
You’ll feel a sharp pang of jealousy on the left side of your chest for a while, but if you’re a good friend, you’ll put on a brave face and yell in congratulations. If you two are truly best friends, then their success is your success. Maybe once they’re settled in at the new job, they can put in a good word for you.
2. When the person you love falls in love with someone else.
Whether you love him or her from a distance, or they’re one of your closest friends, watching someone you love fall in love with someone else is guaranteed to be one of the hardest things you will ever have to do. In order to be the bigger person, you have to support them, move on and let that person be with who makes them happy. If you two are meant to be, you’ll be together one day.
3. When your little sibling gets married before you.
You may have to deal with the annoying teasing from your relatives for a while and maybe even a bit of smugness from your sibling, but keep your chin up and enjoy your sibling’s big day. Yours will come soon enough, and it may even be bigger and better.
4. When your boss is younger than you.
Your boss is your boss, no matter how old they are. It may feel weird taking orders from someone who is younger than you, but just remember–age doesn’t matter when it comes to skill. Respect your boss and try to learn from them in anyway possible. After all, they already earned their place, just as you must do.
5. When you and your significant other have an argument.
Pride may make it difficult for the two of you to admit that you’re both wrong in some way. Be the bigger person, suck it up and approach your significant other first. Lose the silly argument. Not the person you love.
6. When someone close to you screws you over.
Love and betrayal are two tricky things. Put them together and you’ve got a helluva mess. When it’s someone you care about, they’re betrayal will hurt like hell, but you have to remember that they are human, and humans make mistakes. Forgiveness will not happen over night, but it’s worth considering. Forgiveness is closer to happiness than bitterness ever could be.
7. When you never receive a “thank you” or recognition for your hard work.
Sometimes you may never receive a “thank you” for a good deed. Maybe this is because of selfishness, embarrassment or incapability, but whatever the case, just know there’s so much value in recognizing what you’ve done (also, karma will definitely be in your favor).
8. When a friend criticizes you.
There’s this old saying about two wrongs that makes a lot of sense. Instead of turning your hurt into anger and starting a full blow argument, take your friend’s criticism and see how it might better you.
9. When someone close to you forgets about something special.
It could be your birthday, it could be your anniversary — whatever the case, you have every right to be mad. And while your anger is justifiable, you could consider being the bigger person and putting yourself in their shoes. Maybe they have a lot going on right now that you don’t necessarily understand. And on the plus side, when they realize their mistake, they’ll know they have a lot of making up to do.
10. When your significant other has an opposite sex best friend.
This is a classic relationship dilemma that you may have the pleasure of stumbling across. Your boyfriend, for example, may have a girl who is his best friend. They have inside jokes, they share a favorite song and their families are extremely close. Naturally, there will be a lot of jealousy on your part. However, if you want to be the bigger person, it’s up to you to recognize that this girl means a lot to your significant other. Instead of forcing him to give her up, show him that you are willing to try and befriend her.
11. When you have to work with someone you can’t stand.
A bigger person will put all personal feelings aside and get the job done, plain and simple. Save the drama for when you’re not on the clock.
12. When you don’t like your friend’s significant other.
If your friend truly loves their significant other, then it is up to you to be the bigger person and put all personal grudges aside. By all means, let your friend know about your opinion of their SO, but also let them know that you recognize and respect their happiness.
13. When you must comfort someone in your time of happiness.
You just got a promotion and your bursting to tell your best friend and celebrate, but before you can tell them the news, they tell you that their dog just passed away. A bigger person will keep the news to him or herself, stay in, and comfort their best friend.
14. When your boss is condescending.
Your boss may be stuck up and patronizing but at the end of the day, he or she is the one who signs your paycheck. Be the bigger person and hold your tongue until a better opportunity comes your way.
15. When you know that it’s time to walk away.
There may come a time when you realize that you can’t be everything that the person you love needs, or vice versa. It will be up to you to look out for both of your futures and end the relationship before it becomes too messy.