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Why Girls Go to the Bathroom in Groups

Any good friend knows that you never let a girl go to the bathroom alone.

Because who wants to be stuck looking for the bathroom by herself like a lost puppy?

Plus, being asked to tag along is a sign of friendship, kind of like receiving an invitation to an exclusive birthday party.

And you don’t want to be left out, so when one of your friends asks for a bathroom buddy, you’re like:

But once one girl goes, then all the other girls want to go, too.

Which is why you always see girls in public going on “bathroom safaris,” like:

It’s a universal phenomenon that leaves all the guys in the group like:

But all the girls dismiss this common male confusion, slide their purse straps over their shoulders and venture off, thinking:

Once you and your girlfriends find the bathroom, you burst through the doors like you’re entering a new, mini social gathering, which is basically what it is.

The one friend who actually needs to use the bathroom is like…

…while everyone else crowds around the mirror to stare at themselves for a good five minutes.

To everyone else in the bathroom, you and your girlfriends look so vain…

…but it’s not your fault that you had a good hair day and Sephora had a sale on lip gloss!

Then there’s always one friend who has to evaluate the bathroom wall color, sink style and general atmosphere like she’s in an episode of House Hunters.

While everyone primps, it’s a given that you have to catch up on your respective lives…

…and gossip specifically about the guys whom you just left when you went to the bathroom.

Though it’s not that secretive, because all of you talk loudly through the bathroom stalls like you rented the place (especially when a friend needs someone to pass her some toilet paper).

And if anyone is on her period, now is the perfect time and place to complain (because men will never understand what you’re going through).

Now that you’ve spent three times as long as any guy in the bathroom, you round up your girls so you can leave in your original tight-knit huddle.

Because when you go to public bathrooms, you never leave a girl behind!

When you finally rejoin the guys, they act all dramatic about your extended absence, like:

To which you’re just like:

Connie is a professional and creative writing major at Carnegie Mellon University. She is currently obsessed with pole fitness, pumpkin bread, and '80s fashion.
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