Yesterday I was feeling really down. For whatever reason, I was in an awful mood, feeling terrible about life. It was one of those I-hate-the-world-and-everyone-who-is-prettier-than-me-type days. For that reason, a blog post, amongst other things, just wasn’t in the cards.
Normally when I’m in an I-need-to-just-crawl-into-bed-sleep-for-8-hours-and-actually-wake-up-on-the-right-side-of-it-tomorrow kind of mood, I turn to food. I’m not sure when it started, but for at least all of college, I’ve been an emotional eater.
When I’m pissed, I treat myself to something fried. When I’m sad, I treat myself to something sweet. When I’m lonely, I cuddle up with something salty. When I’m stressed, I send my boyfriend to get food while I get myself organized. When I’m bored, I eat anything and everything in sight. When I’m happy, I celebrate with a carb-loaded dinner. I’ve got a meal plan for pretty much every emotion.
Yesterday I was feeling discouraged, and right as I was about to send Max to get me a burrito, I realized what I was doing. I was using an emotion to justify an unhealthy choice. Yes, I was hungry. Yes, it was dinner time. No, a 1,200-calorie, carb-loaded, sodium-filled dinner would not make me feel any better. I needed to break the cycle right then and there.
24 hours later, I’m still not the happiest of campers — but I’m proud that I realized food isn’t the answer. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m overwhelmed with schoolwork, or if it’s because I’m homesick. It might be because I’m ready for summer and totally over the hell that is junior year. Whatever the reason, it’s got me blue.
I’ve tried retail therapy, and while it’s not the best of habits for my wallet, that generally works. I’ve tried cuddling, and that works temporarily, but having to leave my dog just made me even sadder. I even got to hug my mom, dad and sisters today! And I’m still sad.
Elle Woods says endorphins make you happy, so maybe a nice long exercise session will give my mood a boost tomorrow. Since I went home to Vernon Hills yesterday and came back today, I haven’t had time to work out. But! My alarm is set for 8 a.m. tomorrow and after breakfast I have a date with the treadmill.
If you have any suggestions for how I can get out of this funk, leave a comment or tweet at me! @SamGetsHealthy. I could definitely use the love!
Still actively convincing myself that chocolate ice cream would make me feel worse,
Samantha