For one week every spring, the mood on every campus shifts. Those who were lightheartedly strumming guitars in the Quad are now anxiously chain-smoking outside of the Student Services building and angrily updating their Facebook statuses. If you were a professor, you might think that your students were stressed out about end-of-the-semester papers, projects, and exams, but you would be wrong. The reason your star student seems to be mysteriously missing from class without even so much as an e-mail is because it’s housing selection week, and disaster has ensued.
Housing Selection Week is, arguably, the single most stressful week of the entire year. It pales in comparison to finals, midterms, and even the anxiousness surrounding graduation week. If you are like me, you spent the preceding weeks wishing for the best lottery number or soliciting strangers with the most credits to try to pull you into an apartment. If you are truly like me, what can go wrong, will go wrong, and you will be stuck living in the dorms, with a random roommate, turned best friend, turned enemy. Here are some solutions to common housing problems, from someone who has seen it all—from the perfect friendship being ruined over a misplaced hairbrush, to living in a triple with roommates who delve into late night partying.
During Housing Week there are two crucial things to ask yourself—who and where. If you can answer these two questions, the rest is cake.
Who do I live with: friends or strangers?
Your best friend isn’t always the best roommate.
Picking a roommate is always tricky. The ideal roommate is someone you’re positive that you’d get along with, so who better than your very best gal pal…right? You already know her annoying habits—she chews her gum too loudly and has a tendency to let her laundry get a little bit out of control, and you have practically everything in common. If you live together, you won’t have to leave your room for your weekly Gossip Girl viewing session.
This is a warning to all BFFs everywhere—best friends do not always make the best roommates.
You may love your best friend like your sister, but what you forgot is that sisters always fight. Somewhere between the inception of first semester and winter break you might find yourself tearing off the matching friendship bracelets you made in summer camp and throwing them at the pair of heels she borrowed one too many times without asking.
“The most common mistake a girl makes when picking housing is she chooses to live with her very best friend,” says Emily Maher, a Resident Assistant at Bentley University. “There is a big difference between living with someone and seeing them every day at school, then going home.”
But what do you do if you did decide to live with your best friend, and now you are afraid that it will ruin everything?
In this case, honesty is the best policy. Sit down with your friend and tell her how you feel. Let her know that even though she is your right-hand woman, you still need alone time and time to work. If you live with someone you are always goofing around with, it’s hard to stay focused, and you don’t want to be in a situation where you resent her for something small, like waking you up when you have a big test. Remember, don’t leave your roommate situation up in the air. It’s important to tell your friend as soon as possible so she can find alternative plans and avoid a housing nightmare.
What’s worse, the couple of days your friend might be angry at you or losing her altogether?
Splitting up the group
Housing Week can sometimes make you feel like the girl who was picked last in gym class. Friends quickly claim other friends as their roommates, and you are stuck on the sidelines wondering what happened.
Kelsey Henderson, a freshman at The School of Visual Arts, was pushed out of her housing roster when her three friends realized there was no longer a fourth spot available.
“They said that if we found a four bedroom apartment, I could live with them. My mom said it would be easier to find two, two-bedroom apartments next to each other. They again said that if we found it, they would look into it. Earlier this week [my friend] told me that the girls were looking at a triple,” she says. “Now, I have no place to stay.”
No one wants to be the odd girl out, and no one wants her feelings hurt. That’s why it’s best to be vocal. Sit down with your friends before housing week and figure out all of your options. This way, you can create a backup plan together, so no one is left homeless and in the dark.
“I found someone to live with now, who I know I will get along with,” says Henderson. “It just sucks that [my friend] and I aren’t going to be living together.”
The Random Roommate
The random roommate is sort of like a blind date, but one that lasts for a whole year. It could be a complete nightmare, and you could end up with a hard-partying soon-to-be dropout who won’t let you study, or it could be a match made in heaven. Some of my friends have met their soul-sisters through a random roommate assignment.
Look at it this way: all roommates are a gamble. If you live with your best friend, you can’t predict if some small fight will tear you apart. If you live with a random roommate, you don’t have to be best friends; you just have to respect each other’s space.
If you decide that a random roommate is the route for you, it’s best to not create an idealized version of what you want her to be. You can never tell how someone is going act (aside from what you look up on her Facebook wall), so take things as they come, and spend time getting to know each other before you live together. This way, if you know things are not going to work out, you can find an alternative before Room Swap week even starts.
“[With a random roommate] you tend to get a picture in your mind about how great things are going to be,” says Emily Maher, “Unfortunately, it rarely works this way. It’s better to move in with very few expectations. This way, you can learn to live with your roommate as you go along.”
Remember, your random roommate could be a close friend that you have yet to meet.
Where do I live: dorms, on-campus, or off-campus apartments?
Dorm living doesn’t have to be the last option
Your dorm room is a home away from home (albeit a noisier and more cramped home). It’s the one place you come back to everyday after class, where you study, where you hang out, and where you sleep. Many freshmen feel condemned to the communal lifestyle forced upon those of us who don’t have enough credits to live in upperclassman housing. They forget one key thing: the dorms are the one place you will never be lonely. When choosing between a dorm and an apartment, this is one crucial thing to consider.
“Usually the dorm is seen as the bottom of the food chain, but it really shouldn’t be,” says Maher. “After all, at what other time in your life do you get to live with all your friends at the same time? You will never have to eat a meal alone or watch a movie by yourself.”
Apartments (especially apartment singles) are frequently preferred because they offer more privacy, a kitchen to cook in, and a private bathroom, but to a transfer student who hasn’t yet made friends, they can sometimes feel isolating. They are usually located on the outskirts of campus, because that is where the least amount of students are housed, and if you are shy like me, there’s no one forcing you to socialize or make friends.
“Being by yourself is not fun. In fact, it can lead to homesickness, boredom, and overall unhappiness,” says Maher, “Living in a dorm is like having a really big family. You’re really never alone. It can be exhausting and frustrating, but it also has so many benefits.”
Remember, while you might resent sharing a bathroom with twelve other girls, or the fact that your roommate likes to blast country music when you are trying to study, the dorms are where you will meet your best friends.
“The people you live with in a dorm are most likely to be your bridesmaids at your wedding,” says Maher. “They become more than friends. They become your family.”
Sometimes it’s just time to move off campus
At my school, off campus housing is frequently revered as a last resort—you and your roommate drew a bad lottery number or didn’t have enough credits to qualify for an on-campus apartment. At my brother’s school, off-campus apartments are coveted like the Hope diamond. While the desire for this type of housing differs from school to school, there is one detail that remains the same. Living off campus offers the best of both worlds: the college experience you always wanted and the ability to get away from it.
When SUNY Purchase Senior, Jess Schulte, found herself buried deep in her Senior Project (like most of us who are graduating), she didn’t want to deal with the loud partying of juniors who had not yet discovered their fate.
“When I was living on campus, there were a lot of nights I didn’t want to go out and party, but you can’t really get away from it,” she says. “Living off campus, I can be completely away from the scene if I want to be.”
Off-campus housing can also be more affordable than living on campus. Dorms are expensive because of their convenience, but why pay more to have less privacy and space? It might a little annoying to take the bus or find a parking spot, but you’ll be grateful when you don’t need to share a room, and if you’re lucky like my brother is, your school might offer off-campus apartments within walking distance from your classes. Also, without the dormitories tying you to an overpriced meal plan, you can buy the food want.
“It is cost-efficient because you don’t need to depend on campus food,” Schulte says, “I’ve also found that it feels like you are living a more adult life, so it’s easier to manage a schedule of more than just classes and parties.”
The best part about off-campus housing is that you can pick and choose what you want out of your college experience. You can still go to the party, without living inside of it.
Always have a backup plan.
Housing Week is stressful, and even though I am nervous about the uncertainties involved in life after graduation, you can bet that I jumped up and down celebrating the last time I would have to deal with Resident’s Life. For those of you who aren’t in my place, and still have a few more Housing Selections to muscle through, don’t fret. As long as you have a backup plan, Housing Selection will be a breeze.
Don’t leave it until the last minute. Count your credits, corral your friends, and figure out your options before you draw a lottery number. This way, no matter what, you will find your home away from home.
Sources
Emily Maher, Resident Assistant at Bentley University
Kelsey Henderson, freshman at The School of Visual Arts
Jess Schulte, senior at SUNY Purchase