To our lesbian collegiettes, we know you’ve heard all of these so many times that you can probably recite this list without even looking at it. Straight people can just be so totally fascinated with you because you’re like special, sparkly unicorns… except unicorns don’t have to answer dumb questions. Here are some of the questions you’ve probably been asked a million times.
1. Does that mean you’re attracted to me?
Being a lesbian doesn’t mean that we’re attracted to every single girl on earth. So, no. Definitely not.
2. Have you ever tried dating a guy?
Have you ever tried dating a girl?
3. So, who’s the guy in your relationship?
Uh… neither of us? Because we’re both girls?
4. I wish I was a lesbian. Dating would be so much easier.
Let’s do some simple math: We have two girls. That means two times the overthinking, stressing and, of course, PMS (which usually happens at the same time when your cycles sync up). Still wish you were a lesbian? Didn’t think so.
5. But you don’t LOOK like a lesbian.
Sorry I left the rainbow flag at home. Will the abundance of Tegan and Sara in my iTunes library do it?
6. You’re too pretty to be a lesbian!
Not only are you inferring that there aren’t any ~*pretty*~ lesbians, but you’re also invalidating my identity. Two points from Gryffindor.
7. Do you just hate men?
If hate means lack of attraction to penises, then sure.
8. My best friend’s roommate/lab partner/sister/etc. is a lesbian, too; do you know her?
The LGBTQ+ community on campus might be small, but it’s not that small. Come on.
9. How are you going to have kids?
Last time we checked, all you needed was a sperm and an egg in order to make a person. Sperm banks exist, so… yeah, we think we’re good.
10. How do you have sex?
We start it off with a bit of “No,” steam it up with a side of “It’s none of your business” and finish it off with a whole lot of “BYE, FELICIA!”
11. Can I watch?
So not only did you just reduce the intimacy between of two partners to objects of your fantasy porno, but you also had the audacity to actually ask this question out loud. K. Good day to you, sir.