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11 Struggles Of Having Nice Girl Guilt

Life is not easy when you're the nice girl all day, every day.  You’re constantly wracked with what’s known as nice girl guilt. You’re stuck in a people-pleasing phase that seems never-ending. Society perpetuates this idea that we must always make others a priority before our own self. You have this overwhelming need to make those around you happy no matter what the cost, even if it means sacrificing your mental health, physical health or just your overall sense of well-being. Below are struggles of having nice girl guilt.

1. The idea of someone not liking you is too much to handle

You can’t cope with thinking there’s somebody out there that doesn’t like you. It’s against your nature.

2. Even the smallest of arguments plague you for days

You will go to great lengths to settle the matter so you can have peace of mind, even if means taking the blame to get rid of the tension.

3. It becomes a big deal when you are in a mood other than your default setting of happiness

Just because you don’t typically appear sad, angry or crabby doesn’t mean you aren’t entitled to have a bad day just like everybody else.

4. As a result, you tend to bury all your unpleasant emotions

You hope they’ll just go away, but that’s never the case. If you show your true mood, you’re constantly interrogated about it and asked if you’re all right. People try to change your mind because the idea of you not being anything other than pleasant  makes them uncomfortable, which then makes YOU uncomfortable too.

5. You’re always able to see the good in people

You strive to be optimistic and emphasize with those around you. It’s easy for you to excuse an individual’s poor words and behavior because you believe everyone is going through a rough time, making it easier for you to be taken advantage of.

6. They’re too sensitive for their own good

Nice girls are very in tune with their feelings, so it’s easy for them to empathize with others' emotions. When someone you care about is upset, it makes you upset. So, you take it upon yourself to make them happy even if it requires going to great lengths.

7. You are painstakingly polite

You never forget to say “please” and “thank you.” Deep down, you’re really just afraid of offending others, whether you’re close to these people or not. Since you’re always nice, some people misinterpret this as being fake.

8. Guys often mistake their niceness for flirting

This creates some awkward situations. Um, sorry for trying to be nice?

9. You have a hard time saying how you really feel

The fear of hurting someone else’s feelings is very real.

10. You have a difficult time saying no to anything

You want me to help you wash your car at midnight? Sure, why not. You say yes almost always because you don’t like the feeling saying no gives you. You want to feel like you’re being the best person you can be all the time and that means letting everyone know they can count on you always.

11. You often feel burned out because your focus is constantly on others

There is a constant, inner struggle in your mind.

Having nice girl guilt is all too common. Although you make think you’re doing the right thing by trying to spare everyone’s feelings and put their needs ahead of yours, you’re only hurting yourself in the end. It’s important to recognize that your thoughts and feelings matter. YOU matter. Plus, it’s impossible to truly help anyone around you if you don’t take care of yourself first. 

Brianna DiPanni is a senior at Assumption College. She is currently majoring in English with a concentration in Writing and Mass Communications. She is a self proclaimed book nerd, Zumba enthusiast and shopping addict. When her nose isn't stuck under a book, Brianna also enjoys baking and spending time with her friends. After graduation, Brianna plans on pursuing a career in writing and working for a fashion magazine.
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