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Life

The 10 Stages of Your Drunk Snap Story

It is no secret that alcohol impairs your decision making skills, and social media decisions are no exception to this rule. With the extremely easy access to everyone we know, we all know how it feels to wake up to cringe-worthy posts from the night before. So to make you feel a little less ashamed and a little less alone, we have compiled a list of the nine drunk stages of your snap story. Will you relate to it? Probably. Will you use this information to make more socially acceptable drunk decisions on your next night out? We doubt it.

Stage 1: The “Gangs all here” Snap

This usually occurs at the start of the night when the final crucial member of your squad arrives and the festivities commence. This picture is bound to take several tries because everyone must approve of the picture.

Stage 2: The Pregame Snap

Documenting your first sips of alcohol of the night is so important. You get to show your followers that you party AND you still look semi-presentable.

Stage 3: The “Passed out at the pregame” Snap

The subject of this pic is whomever takes the pregame festivities a little overboard. Whether they remain with the group for the rest of the night or not depends on their ability to rally.

Stage 4: The Uber Snap

You have already split the fare and your Uber driver is chill AF. His car, fully equipped with an AUX cord and water bottles, is arguably more fun than the party you’re about to set foot into. This snap probably consists of you and your friends belting music from the backseat of the car and asking your driver extremely personal questions.

Stage 5: The Party Snap

Whether you rolled up to the bars or your buddies house party, alerting Snapchat that you’ve arrived is essential. It will often provoke text messages asking where you are and if your other friends can come. Obviously you tell them they can with or without the permission from the host of the party.

Stage 6: The Bathroom Snap

One of your friends is bent over the toilet and the friend group mom is holding back her hair. Another just saw her ex from middle school hug another girl and is in a full blown sob. Maybe there’s another banging on the door trying to get in. You? You’re laughing and documenting all of this on your story. Maybe it’s TMI, but you don’t think so at the time.

Stage 7: The Drunchies Snap

Unfortunately every party must come to an end- but that doesn’t mean your night does. You end up at your favorite late night restaurant (probably McDonald’s or some cheap pizza place) with more or less people than you started the night with. Maybe you try to take an artsy pic of your pizza that you think looks good, or maybe you take some selfies at the table with your friends. Either way you have never been happier and Snapchat must know that.

Stage 8: The “I meant to send this to my crush but I posted it on my story” Snap

This is pretty self-explanatory. You’re either already in bed or well on your way there. It seems like an excellent idea to snap your crush before you take all your makeup off and drift into a deep sleep. Unfortunately, you accidentally pressed the story button, which you likely won’t realize until you wake up in a few more hours.

Stage 9: The “Oh no what did I post” Snap

This stage is usually done in a frantic panic right when you wake up the morning after a night out. You open Snapchat and click through your story. As you slowly die from the embarrassment of your intoxicated social media decisions, you also delete the majority of your story even though everyone already saw it and judged you for it.

Stage 10: The Brunch Snap

You and your friends reflexively meet up for a post-game meal to discuss last night’s events. You may opt for a picture of the food you so desperately needed to mend your hungover, but more likely it’s a picture of your best friend who died with the caption “She’s alive.”

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Paige Herer

U Mass Amherst

Paige Herer is a junior at Penn State. She is majoring in public relations and political science with a minor in international studies with hopes of pursuing a a career in PR after graduation. Her business aspirations include but are not limited to becoming Olivia Pope. She has a passion for reading, drinking coffee, long car rides, and scrolling through online blogs for hours. When Paige isn't being ridiculously productive you can find her walking aimlessly around campus trying to figure out how to operate her DSLR camera, or in her tiny dorm room marathoning any and every John Hughes movie.