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In the “preppy community,” I feel like there is so much pressure to rush and get a bid from a top tier sorority. Rushing is not for everyone, and that’s OK! I’ve always felt a bit left out in the preppy community because I chose not to rush. I didn’t even partake in rush week. I hope my story and my decision can help girls who choose not to rush. I’m not here to sway you one way or another, but I hope that I can be here for those who may feel left out. I firmly believe that choosing if a sorority is right for you is a personal decision that shouldn’t be influenced by anything else. I don’t look down on anyone for the decisions that they have made or may make. Some people really love their sororities, and I’m all about finding something that you love.
Now that I’ve prefaced this post, I’m going to get in to why I chose not to rush.
1. There has always been a massive pressure on me to rush.
I run the Tumblr account “pier–pressure,” and in my senior year of high school I had girls from UMD’s sororities posting anonymous messages in my inbox asking me to rush. At the time, it was really cool to be recognized. It made me feel important. But looking back on it now, it seemed very inappropriate, and here’s why: At UMD, recruitment isn’t until spring semester. That means that these girls were reaching out to me a little less than a year in advance. It seems a little bit like an invasion of privacy. Before I had finished my senior year in high school, they were already scouting. Now, they could have just been being friendly…but it still made me uncomfortable. You know the feeling where everyone is pressuring you so much to do something so much, that it makes you not want to do it? I feel like that’s exactly what happened to me when it came to recruitment.
2. Timing
When I came to college, I joined Women’s Club Ice Hockey. I loved it and the girls on the team. Since our season was right during recruitment, I wasn’t going to miss a game to rush. I had made a commitment to the team, and it didn’t feel right to me to just leave them for something that would be another commitment. Plus, I kind of found my “place” on the team. It was like having sisters, similar to what a sorority would be like. I felt like I was getting everything and more out of my hockey team that I would get in a sorority. The time commitment was too big to do both.
3. I’m an introvert
I had known this a bit going into college, but I think it really solidified during my freshman year. Plus, I have always struggled with my mental health. I was worried that adding the stress and the time commitment of a sorority wouldn’t be the best thing for me. Taking care of myself is my first priority. I know that when I over-commit it or feel like I have too much on my plate is when I struggle the most. This goes with what I said before – you need to do what’s best for you.
4. I didn’t feel like there was a sorority that I would fit in
I did some research on about every sorority, but I didn’t find one that really stood out to me, or one I would fit in to. My mom struggled with this in college too. She rushed and wasn’t happy with how her bid day went, so she actually started her own sorority at UVA (go mom!). There are definitely options to do this in college if you’re not happy with the sororities that are offered. Right after our rush week, a new sorority actually opened on campus. Several of my friends rushed Gamma Phi Beta and loved it! I think it’s really cool that they can be the first members in a new sorority.
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