You would think that with Red (Taylor’s Version) coming in just two days’ time, on Friday, November 19, 2021, we’d have a more solid understanding of what we’re in for with the newest rerecording and everything that comes with it. Oh, wait… this is Taylor Swift we’re talking about. No, you wouldn’t! Thanks to eagle-eyed Swifties and her penchant for hidden messages, Taylor Swift fan theories are running rampant in the days leading to the Red update. All our questions? Completely unanswered, causing a bit of hysteria to mix in with the bliss of new music that’s percolating among Taylor’s fans.
It’s no secret that detective skills are at the top of every Swiftie’s resume; we’ve been well-trained by our boss to always be on the lookout for Easter eggs, hints, and other secrets. Where Blondie is involved, nothing is ever as it seems. But while we’re experts at spotting the clues, she’s so cryptic that it’s nearly impossible to decipher them. As the countdown winds down, we still know so little in the grand scheme of things, and I don’t know how much more of this I can take. Are any of us okay?
In the past, Taylor has dropped sneak peeks for her upcoming projects in various forms. It’s become somewhat like a game of hidden objects (e.g. the Lover sign in the Me! music video is a clear Easter egg regarding the name of her next album at the time) or an intense game of Clue (searching for meaning where there often isn’t any, like the photo she posted that included five holes in the fence, triggering countdown theory after theory about something that never came to fruition). Swifties place a deeper meaning on everything that comes out of Taylor’s mouth, so it’s safe to say that Swifties are always unwell, but the collective frenzy we’re currently experiencing has reached new heights.
It all started on September 29, with none other than Mr. Perfectly Fine’s brother, Nick Jonas. He posted a TikTok video featuring a glitch very similar to the one in Taylor’s TikTok video for the Wildest Dreams trend. Are they just millennials, or is this a clue? Nick then responded to a comment inquiring about the editor of the video with a snippet of Taylor and Brendon Urie’s song Me!. Taylor commented, “iconic 🍕” later that day, and Joe Jonas posted a photo with the caption “Looking for 🍕.” on Instagram the next day. If you’re a little confused, Taylor appeared on Stephen Colbert earlier this year, where she mentioned the importance of pizza slices multiple times. Her single Style, from the album 1989, was also released on National Pizza Day in 2015. What’s all this? A Taylor Swift and Jonas Brothers collaboration in 1989 (Taylor’s Version)? Taylor playing the part of “pizza girl” in a Jonas Brothers music video? I need to know!
Then, on October 29, Ed Sheeran released a music video for his song Overpass Graffiti, in which he sports a jacket with “Taylor Swift” on the back in a similar font to the one used for Reputation. Obviously, Ed will feature on the rerecord with “End Game,” so what could this possibly mean? What aren’t they telling us?!
The more timely but equally vague Red (Taylor’s Version) Easter eggs also began popping up during late October. Fans spotted signs in Taylor’s neighborhood regarding a project named “Acorn,” as well as production crews coming in and out of her New York apartment, which led Swifties to speculate that the name could be an acronym for “A Concert Of Red Night.” Could we be getting a digital concert of her album Red (Taylor’s Version), similar to what she did with Folklore on Disney+? Days later, she donned a squirrel costume for Halloween, which could also be a clue. In the We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together music video, she wore a pair of matching pajamas that featured a pattern of squirrels and — you guessed it — acorns. Is she rerecording the music video? Is the hope that felt lost when we didn’t get any Fearless (Taylor’s Version) music videos worth holding? Please tell me, Taylor, I swear I won’t tell anyone!
Some have speculated that the “Acorn” project isn’t related to Red (Taylor’s Version) at all, but rather an Easter Egg for a completely new album. (Cue the Swiftie overload!!!!) Others still suspect that it may relate to the All Too Well short film, which was announced on November 5, taking us all wildly by surprise. Written and directed by Taylor and starring Taylor, Sadie Sink, and Dylan O’Brien, the film also drops on November 12. A few questions, if you don’t mind: Did Dylan O’Brien really not shower for weeks to prepare for his character, and am I really expected to see him as the villain!? Is Jake Gyllenhaal going into witness protection? Will we rewrite history to get poor Taylor her scarf back? TBD, I guess!
Earlier this month, the Instagram account @deuxmoi alleged that Taylor might be filming something bridal-themed with Blake Lively, which sure doesn’t sound like a scene from All Too Well! Is there another short film on the way? Another music video? Perhaps a full-length feature film? We can’t catch a break! Deuxmoi doesn’t care though, and neither does Taylor; she’s also rumored to be planning a secret event soon. In Miley Cyrus’ voice: What does it mean?!
As if stressing out over all of the speculations wasn’t enough, Swifties who were way too young nine years ago to have their hearts broken are now desperately looking for someone to break them like a promise. Some are searching Tinder explicitly for someone to hurt them, and those in happy, committed relationships are suddenly plotting for a break up with their loving partners. We’re nothing if not dedicated!
It’s clear that Taylor has been hard at work, but Swifties work harder; just like Blondie, we’re not resting. College? I hardly know her, but thankfully great things are coming for us as our 24/7 investigation comes to a close. And to answer the question, no – we’re not okay. Not even a little. But perhaps soon we can sleep.