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On & Off Relationships

My boyfriend and I constantly have an on- and off-relationship. He does things to drive me crazy like calling my e-mails boring or being grumpy when we hang out and I tell him that these things bother me to no end. However, whenever we break up (because I have reached my limit) he improves on all of these things and becomes the man of my dreams. While we are broken up he is exactly who I want him to be but when we get back together he turns into somewhat of a jerk again. How can I rein in my prince charming or is it a lost cause?

Hi Doll,
I’d venture to guess that this really is not a description of the man of your dreams, despite your mention of Prince Charming. 
What do you want? I hear that it’s painful when your guy ignores you, criticizes you and takes it for granted when you spend time together. Remember, even though he does an about-face when you are broken up, the stunts he pulls when you are together are still direct forms of communication, and they’re not pretty. For the moment, let’s put him aside and focus on you.
If you really want to be a girlfriend, you have to start cherishing yourself and valuing what you want. No guy is ever going to respond to your wants if you don’t take them seriously. You’re putting them out there while also doubting they will be met.
It sounds to me like it’s time to move on- but also time to move deeper into your relationship with yourself. Where do you doubt yourself? What else are you settling for in your life? You deserve the whole enchilada so take some deep breaths, relax into your most authentic self and trust that the real Prince Charming will recognize Princess Charming when she is ready to be fully seen, adored and enjoyed.

All my love,


Ali Berlin is a radio host, author, relationship coach and marriage officiant who guides people to release conditioned pain and fear and embrace satisfaction and love. Over the past ten years, she has become a sought after expert in desire and practical spirituality, and is beloved for her disarming personal transparency and relentless commitment to the truth. Ali has personally worked with hundreds of individuals and couples, and spoken to thousands of people on the practice of living an authentic, integrated and passionate One Life. Ali holds a Masters Degree and coaching certification from the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology and a Bachelors Degree from Penn State University. She has lectured at Stanford University, Penn State University, the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology and has been a featured on Montel Williams radio, Woman’s Day Magazine radio, The New York Times Weddings section, InStyle Celebrity Weddings, DailyWorth.com, Mike Robbins’ radio, KTLA Pacesetters, StyleMePretty.com, BrooklynBride.com, Personal Life Media and more. In 2008, she co-founded The One Love Campaign, a grass roots initiative for marriage equality, which garnered local and national recognition. For more information, visit http://aliberlin.com/