I’m the first person to admit that I cannot do most things. I am also the first to admit that I will never be as pretty (or as privileged) as Kendall Jenner. However, there is one thing I can do that this Victoria’s Secret Angel cannot: cut a cucumber.
In episode 5 of The Kardashians, audiences cringed at a clip of Kendall Jenner attempting to cut a cucumber for her salad. Her efforts were so mortifying that her own mother offered to call in their personal chef to help.
Kendall, you don’t need a personal chef. You have me, and I’m ready to disclose all of my secrets to save you from further reality television show ridicule. Today, I will be walking you through how to cut a cucumber, in a few simple steps. I just want you to live up to your full potential, bestie.
- Lay your cucumber horizontally on your cutting board
- Hold your knife in your dominant hand, gripping the handle with your middle, ring, and pinkie finger, and placing your thumb and forefinger on the sides of the blade to steady your cut.
- Hold your cucumber with your opposite hand. Make sure it’s steady!
- Slice.
Kardashian-Jenner family, if you need someone to teach cooking classes to your kids, my DMs are open.