My friend came back from a semester abroad and picked up “social smoking”. How do I get her to stop? What should I say?
It is difficult when friends pick up habits we don’t approve of or engage in behaviors that are harmful to themselves. Finding a balance between being a good friend and a “pesky” one is hard.
As you know, college is a time for self-exploration and discovery. That said no one wants to see a friend smoke when everyone knows it is harmful to the smoker as well as those around them.
Tell your friend once, clearly and calmly, you do not like her smoking. She knows it is unhealthy for her so gently remind her that it is unhealthy for you (and anyone else) to be around. Let her know she is not allowed to smoke in your car, apartment or dorm room.
Have this conversation only once because you can be certain she is getting the same message from other friends and family. Too many complaints and she is likely to stop listening. Because many bars, restaurants and other public places do not allow smoking, you (and she) have an advantage. When you are out with her and she wants to step outside to smoke do not agree to go with her. Enough times huddled outside in the cold alone can turn social smoking into lonely smoking. Once the social aspect is diminished her interest in smoking is likely to diminish as well.