Pattie Mallette is known by Beliebers and others worldwide as Justin Bieber’s mom, but she’s also a New York Times bestselling author with an incredible story to share. In her recent book, Nowhere But Up, Pattie talks about her experiences with depression, abandonment, sexual abuse and the struggles of being a single mom.
Her Campus caught up with Pattie about her book, the reaction she’s gotten from readers and what it’s like to raise a teen pop star. Read what she had to say below!
Her Campus: I know most people know you as Justin Bieber’s mom, but you’ve had this incredible personal story that you’ve written a book about. Why did you decide to write this book?
Pattie Mallette: Well, I went through a lot of really horrible things growing up, and I’ve been through such an amazing healing journey that I really wanted to share… with other people, to help inspire others that have been or are going through anything similar. And I know, for me, when I was younger, I had a lot of people share with me their stories, and it really helped me to be able to get through the difficult times.
HC: Can you tell me a little bit about which experiences you wrote about in the book?
Pattie: I got abandoned when I was two. My parents got divorced, and I started being sexually abused for about five years from age five to 10, and then, as a teenager, I got into drugs and alcohol, and ultimately ended up trying to commit suicide when I was 17. And then I was a teen mom; I was pregnant as an 18-year-old and lived in a pregnancy home, and I tell a little bit about our [my and Justin’s] struggles growing up.
HC: What got you through these difficult times?
Pattie: What got me through some really difficult times was… great people that stepped into my life and refused to give up on me. Also, my faith, and I’m very strong-willed and very tenacious, so I refused to give up; I refused to stay in a place of despair. And that’s really part of my message, part of my encouragement, is to really help people to not give up.
HC: Obviously this has to be really difficult to talk about. What is it like sharing all these things that happened to you in this book?
Pattie: It’s not easy to share some things that happened when I was younger, especially the abuse. I’m being very vulnerable in front of the whole world, but it’s worth it because I know I’m helping other people. I know that it’s inspiring other people that have been through things, and people are coming up to me saying, “Thank you so much for having the courage to share this! I went through the same thing and your book really helped me.” …It’s just been amazing.
HC: What are you hoping readers will take away from reading your book?
Pattie: The biggest thing that I hope people take away from my book is hope. I really want people to know that, regardless of where they’ve been or what they’re going through, that there’s healing and there’s hope.
HC: In your acknowledgements section at the end of the book, you said: “To my abusers: I forgive you.” What was that like, coming to a place where you could say, “I forgive you”?
Pattie: Forgiving my abusers has been a long process. Sometimes, forgiveness is a daily process that you have to do over and over and over again until it’s complete. It began with a choice, it began with a decision, and it’s been hard but it’s been really freeing. It’s good. I write that “un-forgiveness” is like drinking poison and hoping the other person gets sick.
HC: You said your dad left you when you were very young, and you obviously had a hard childhood. How do you think your experiences have affected how you’ve raised Justin?
Pattie: I was abandoned by my dad, and I felt so rejected and I felt so unlovable and my self-worth was just so crushed because I didn’t have my dad in my life. I never wanted Justin to feel that way. So regardless of my relationship with his dad and where we were at the time, I really wanted to encourage Justin to have a relationship with his dad. I always told him that his daddy loved him. I never wanted him to feel the way I felt.
HC: What was it like raising a son at such a young age?
Pattie: Being a teen mom was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I was still growing up, so in a sense, we grew up together. I needed a lot of help, and thankfully there were some resources around me. It was really tough, but I wouldn’t trade him for the world.
HC: Not only did you have to raise Justin at a young age, but I imagine it’s difficult raising a child who’s always in the spotlight. What is that like?
Pattie: For me, I’ll never think of Justin as being a public figure; he’s my son. So whatever happens, we just talk about it. Kind of like you would when your adult child goes off to college. You just try and get together and talk as much as possible.
HC: How do you and Justin manage family time when he’s so busy with his career?
Pattie: I go out and I visit Justin on the road as much as possible. He definitely doesn’t want me there all the time, so it gives me time to do some of my own things. I visit him every few weeks and I talk to him on the phone; I call him, I text him.
HC: So, going back to your book—what’s been the most rewarding part of writing your book and having it published so far?
Pattie: When I see reactions of gratitude and tears and hearing people’s stories about how I helped inspire and how I helped change people’s lives. Even if it was only for one person, it would have all been worth it. And seeing multiple people has just been so gratifying. … I did a reading and I shared a little bit about my story, and one woman stood up—they did a little Q & A afterwards—and she said, “You saved my daughter’s life, and I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart,” and she started crying. That’s what it’s all about; that’s the reason I wrote the book. That’s what it’s all for.
HC: Just wrapping it all up: a lot of our readers are teenage women, and they’re all in college—some of them have probably gone through some similar experiences that you did. Do you have any words of advice or anything that you’d like to say to college women who have gone through difficult times and don’t really know where to go from there?
Pattie: My advice to them would be to reach out for help; don’t give up, and love yourself. I think that’s been a really tough one. People that have gone through abuse and other things just really need to love themselves enough to get healed.