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First Date Nerves

Her Campus Placeholder Avatar David Coleman

I tend to treat first dates sort of like job interviews and end up coming off as too stiff — how can I learn to act more flirty and less formal on a first date?

By putting yourself in what my friend and colleague, Ryan Clauson, calls “Peak State.” Get sound rest the night before you are going out. Eat healthy. Work out earlier that day or at least walk or run some. Put on clothes you love and that make you feel highly attractive. Do NOT over make up. Listen to some upbeat music that makes you feel relaxed, rejuvenated and on top of the world and most importantly remember that it is ONLY A DATE. 

If it doesn’t work out, there are plenty more men out there who will want to date you. Women often place so much pressure on themselves to be the “perfect date” or to “not blow it” that they fall into a sense of analysis paralysis and can’t enjoy the date or the person they are with. Believe me, no matter how you think you are feeling, multiply it by 10 and you have the way the guy feels. He had to ask, probably plan the date, will have to avoid being seen as a “guy” and if he tries to get physical with you in any way, he may be seen as overly aggressive. If he doesn’t show any attraction to you whatsoever, he may be judged as not interested or repulsed. 

Isn’t dating fun?!

Her Campus Placeholder Avatar
David Coleman is known nationwide as The Dating Doctor™ and “America’s Real-Life Hitch!” He has been honored thirteen times as The National Speaker of the Year— 10 times by Campus Activities Magazine and 3 times by The National Association for Campus Activities. He recently won Speaker Of The Year again for 2010! He is a highly sought after speaker, author, entertainer, radio and television personality. David received his B.S. in Speech Pathology and Audiology ('83) and his Master of Arts in College Student Personnel ('85) from Bowling Green State University (BGSU). His book, Making Relationships Matter, has completed its second printing run, and his previous works, Date Smart! and 101 Great Dates are well respected and continue to impact lives worldwide. David has also contributed to five outstanding collaborative efforts, Leadership's Greatest Hits, Let Your Leadership Speak, BluePrints for Success, Why We Hover, and Keys to Success in College and Life. These publications are all filled with anecdotes, strategies and ideas to help expand one's relationships and potential. His compact disk, Prescriptions for Life and Relationships is a humorous, challenging and candid resource that examines the subtleties and complexities surrounding dating, relationships, romance and sex. David also had a story featured in the national bestseller, Chicken Soup for the College Soul. David has been featured in such fine publications as Us Magazine, Glamour, Celebrity Living, Mademoiselle, Women's World, Cosmopolitan, The USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post and The New York Times. He has been featured on CNN as well as on all major television networks and on hundreds of radio stations nationwide including STAR 105.7 in Grand Rapids, Star 94 in Atlanta, MIX 105.1 in Orlando, KLITE 105.3 in Bakersfield, and "The Big One" 700 WLW, in Cincinnati, Ohio. David has spoken to more than 2,000,000 people in all 50 states, Canada and Europe and another 20,000,000 through his appearances on radio, television, and in print, audience members at more than 2,500 college campuses, corporations, conferences, single's organizations, military installations, churches, and civic groups have experienced his energetic and entertaining programs. He has been a featured speaker for all branches of our Military Service, the Sprint Corporation, Merrill Lynch, The Kroger Co., Federated and Flo-Tork, Inc. as well as civic organizations such as MOPS (Mothers of Pre-Schoolers), Junior Achievement, Circle K International, and Mortar Board. David received a National Service Citation from President George Bush, and has served as a spokesperson for Microsoft's Streets and Trips campaign , Abbott Labs Humira campaign, English Leather Cologne and Coca Cola's Fuze Black and Green Tea.