It’s no secret that Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher reign supreme in the land of celebrity couples. From their early chemistry as co-stars on That 70’s Show to now being happily married with two kids, randomly starring in Super Bowl commercials, and many other fun adventures, I firmly believe they are the most wholesome, fun, down-to-earth humans of all time — although maybe a little more down-to-earth than I realized. I never imagined I’d be writing about my favorite duo in the context of celebrity shower habits, but alas, here we are.
Allow me to begin by saying that I absolutely, 100% stan Mila Kunis. Not only is she gorgeous, witty, and talented in every way, but she has starred in some of the most iconic movies of all time (ahem, Black Swan?!) and I’m just trying to be friends with her. Obviously, Ashton is also hilarious, entertaining, and seems genuinely wonderful in that class clown, boy-next-door type of way (remember Punk’d?). Plus, I’ll never be over the fact that his first kiss was with Mila. I mean, come on. They were always meant to be. It’s safe to say that if I had to choose any celebrity couple to adopt me, it would absolutely be these two.
So, when I recently came across the multiple headlines saying that Mila and Ashton apparently don’t believe in bathing too often — nor do they bathe their children regularly — I had some thoughts. Mom and dad…why?!
First, it seems relevant to clarify that I am very pro long, hot showers, and recently, I’ve started enjoying epsom salt-infused bubble baths by candlelight. If you haven’t added something like this to your nightly routine yet, get on it. And while showers, luxurious baths, and clean water are definitely a luxury that I don’t take for granted, I desperately wish celebs would keep their shower habits to themselves.
In a recent episode of “Armchair Expert,” the podcast hosted by Dax Shepard, Mila and Ashton were casually chatting when the conversation turned to shower routines. Shepard shared that he had apparently been arguing with his co-host, Monica Padman, that she shouldn’t be showering with soap every day. “You should not be getting rid of all the natural oil on your skin with a bar of soap every day,” he says on the podcast. “It’s insane.” Mila and Ashton proceeded to say that they only wash vitals — not exactly every day — and that this tradition has apparently continued with their two kiddos, Wyatt, 6, and Dimitri, 4. All of this discussion, mind you, appears to have happened within the first few minutes of the episode. SOS.
“I don’t wash my whole body with soap every day,” Kunis said, but emphasized that she does wash certain body parts regularly. Her hubby immediately followed up with, “I watch my armpits, my crotch daily, and nothing else, ever.” Dad, please, I really didn’t need to know this.
When asked the question we are all wondering — for the love of all things holy, why — Mila laughed and said, “I didn’t have hot water growing up as a child, so I didn’t shower very much!” She added that when her children were born, she didn’t wash them every day, either. “I wasn’t the parent that bathed my newborns…ever,” she told Shepard.
Shepard and his wife, who is none other than leading lady Kristin Bell, have apparently adopted a similar system with their own kiddos: “We only did it because it was part of the nighttime routine — we could care less about their cleanliness,” Shepard explains on the podcast. He also doesn’t believe anyone should wash their face every day. Sigh. (For the record, even Mila thought this was absurd, and reportedly washes her face twice a day).
“Here’s the thing, if you can see the dirt on them, clean them,” Ashton said, referring to his children’s shower routines. “Otherwise, there’s no point.” Ashton then admits his tendency to “throw some water” on his face after a workout to “get all the salts out.” Ashton, please. I love you, but this would not work out for me post-hot yoga. I have tried.
I have to say, listening to this bewildering audio, I most identify with Padman who exclaims, “Guys!!! I can’t believe I’m in the minority here of washing my whole body in the shower. I can’t believe it.” Monica, my friend, I am apparently also in this minority, and I don’t see it changing anytime soon.
Since we’re all apparently coming clean now (sorry), I have to say: I love showers. They give me extended time to ponder life, sing show tunes, and allow brilliant story ideas to pop into my brain, like this one, obviously. And while there are clearly more urgent, serious matters to focus on these days, I’m tickled at the way Mila and Ashton’s breaking news has apparently divided the internet. While I love my future adoptive parents dearly and am definitely not trying to do them dirty (sorry again), I’m just saying, soap is a powerful thing. PSA to all celebrities from here on out: We love you. We care about you. But please, keep your shower habits to yourselves.