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Bringing Back the Friends, After the Breakup

Her Campus Placeholder Avatar Irene S. Levine

I recently broke up with my boyfriend and had honestly neglected my friends during our relationship. What would be the best way to get into their good graces again?

There’s no sense pretending: If you know, they know too. Admit you were dumb to get caught up with a jerk and go AWOL. Tell them you probably deserve the “Bad Friend Award” but it made you realize you need and cherish your connections with your gal pals — whether you’re involved with a guy or not.

Make plans to do some fun things with your friends and show interest in their lives. Guard against spending your time ruminating about your lost love. They’ll remember how much fun they used to have with you, and you and they will get over what’s his name again in no time :)

Remember, if they’re good friends, they’ll forgive you and feel badly (for you) that your relationship ended. Unfortunately, it’s common for women to neglect their sisters for their misters and then only to realize the loss when the relationship ends.

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Dr. Irene S. Levine blogs as "The Friendship Doctor" on the Huffington Post and Psychology Today, where she provides readers no-nonsense advice and guidance. Her own blog, The Friendship Blog, has become a unique watering hole for people who want to better understand their friendships. She writes a bimonthly mental health column called Mind Matters for AAAS Science Magazine's online publication, ScienceCareers. Irene’s career straddles two worlds: Trained as a psychologist, she is also an award-winning freelance journalist and author. She spent the major portion of her career as a senior manager and policymaker at the National Institute of Mental Health in Rockville, Maryland. She currently holds a faculty appointment as a Professor of Psychiatry at the New York University School of Medicine. Her writing—focused on health, lifestyles, travel and relationships—has appeared in scores of newspapers (including the Chicago Tribune, Dallas Morning News, New York Times, Newsday, and USA Today) and national magazines (such as AARP Bulletin, Better Homes and Gardens, Bottom Line Health, Health, Ladies Home Journal, Prevention, and Reader's Digest). Her latest book is Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend. Offering tools for personal assessment, case stories, and actionable advice for saving, ending, or re-evaluating a relationship, Dr. Levine shows that breakups are sometimes inevitable---even between the best of friends. She is a widely sought-after speaker on the topic of friendship.