The strength of a friendship can only be measured by one thing: admittance onto the Close Friends Instagram story. The exclusive content cracks below the surface of Instagram perfection and unlocks a world of storytime rants, fit checks, and emotional catharsis. But, Billie Eilish’s Close Friends story is all one genius marketing ploy.
On April 4, Billie uploaded a picture to her Close Friends Instagram story of a hand seemingly floating through a dark abyss. The ambiguous image is nothing out of the ordinary for Billie’s mysterious persona, but the little green “Close Friends” notif got everyone’s attention. And if you follow Billie, and you saw that green ring around her IG Story icon when you woke up, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Billie fans freaked out (rightfully so), thinking that Billie had personally plucked them to be a part of her Close Friends story. The genius of it all is that there’s no way of knowing who else is able to view the story.
Well, that is unless you have Twitter/X — because everyone and their mother decided to gloat about their newly documented friendship with Billie. Unfortunately, access to Billie Eilish’s Close Friends story isn’t the flex we all thought it was.
Why am I on Billie Eilish’s Close Friends story?
Billie’s followers were quickly forced to confront the fact that there was nothing personal about it at all; in fact, it was all a ploy to market her next album.
The upset from fans was short-lived, as it was quickly replaced with excitement for the announcement of an upcoming project. The story post was her first personal acknowledgment of the album, but, in the past two days, folks have spotted ominous billboards sprinkled throughout New York, Los Angeles, and Sydney. They feature quotes like “I try to live in black and white,” “She’s the headlights, I’m the deer,” and “Did I cross the line?” In the corner of the billboards are Billie’s signature “blohsh,” or the genderless stick figure human that’s featured on much of her merch and advertisements. No details were too small for Billie’s marketing team as the lyrics on the billboard are even the color of her Instagram profile picture right now.
The Close Friends marketing technique was a stroke of evil genius. The grip that the Close Friends feature has on Gen Z is almost as strong as the grip that Billie has on us. So, we’re only left with one option, which is to continue to live in the delusion that Billie chose us, and us alone, to be her new best friends.