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Balancing Old and New Friends with Activities


How can a go-getter (involved in clubs, jobs, and internships) avoid drifting from her old friends and neglecting a social life during her college years?

Old friendships are the scrapbooks of our lives, so you’ll want to judiciously balance old friends with new ones. It’s hard to replace the memories you share with: the friend you walked with on the first day of grade school, the guy who took you to the senior prom, or your BFF who was on the soccer team with you throughout high school.

But during the college years, you have an unparalleled opportunity to broaden your interests and experiences. That’s one of the reasons you’re going to college! Keep yourself open to new people and don’t let yourself be weighed down by old friendships that you have outgrown or don’t really have time for now. At the same time, plan to use some of your vacation between semesters to plan face-to-face get-togethers with old friends and stay in contact with them during the year through Facebook and instant messages.

Dr. Irene S. Levine blogs as "The Friendship Doctor" on the Huffington Post and Psychology Today, where she provides readers no-nonsense advice and guidance. Her own blog, The Friendship Blog, has become a unique watering hole for people who want to better understand their friendships. She writes a bimonthly mental health column called Mind Matters for AAAS Science Magazine's online publication, ScienceCareers. Irene’s career straddles two worlds: Trained as a psychologist, she is also an award-winning freelance journalist and author. She spent the major portion of her career as a senior manager and policymaker at the National Institute of Mental Health in Rockville, Maryland. She currently holds a faculty appointment as a Professor of Psychiatry at the New York University School of Medicine. Her writing—focused on health, lifestyles, travel and relationships—has appeared in scores of newspapers (including the Chicago Tribune, Dallas Morning News, New York Times, Newsday, and USA Today) and national magazines (such as AARP Bulletin, Better Homes and Gardens, Bottom Line Health, Health, Ladies Home Journal, Prevention, and Reader's Digest). Her latest book is Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend. Offering tools for personal assessment, case stories, and actionable advice for saving, ending, or re-evaluating a relationship, Dr. Levine shows that breakups are sometimes inevitable---even between the best of friends. She is a widely sought-after speaker on the topic of friendship.