Tonight comes the real reason why we watch The Bachelor: The Women Tell All… in other words, quality TV. As Chris Harrison will probably put it, tonight is bound to be the most dramatic night in Bachelor history. We’re expecting claws to come out, true colors to be revealed and, of course, an endless flow of tears. Here’s what we’re hoping will go down tonight:
1. An Ashley I. and Kelsey showdown…
We absolutely need a continuation of that staredown.
2. …which Kelsey tries to win by using a big word…
Does she still consider herself immeasurably #blessed?
3. …ultimately resulting in a panic attack only Kelsey could pull off.
Who will she be calling on as her knight in shining armor now?
4. A look back at Ashley S.’s craziest moments
Plus, a full explanation of each of those moments—does she prefer pomegranates or onions? What’s with Mesa Verde?
5. Oh, and an announcement for Ashley S.’s own spin-off show
Though we’ll also settle for having her on Bachelor in Paradise.
6. Britt taking Carly DOWN
We’re pretty sure that it would be “fun to watch her squirm.”
7. Britt’s exclusive tips on how to do your makeup… for bed
She gives “I woke up like this” a whole new meaning.
8. A not-so-sober Jordan
Because let’s be honest, Jordan after one-too-many drinks was MADE for reality TV.
9. Jillian in short shorts—or rather, not in short shorts
We mean, do we really need to see that?
10. Ashley I. like we’ve never seen her before
In other words, Ashley I. NOT crying, since that was all she did on the show (aside from the time she enjoyed corn on the cob).
11. Real talk on which girls would actually move to Arlington
Remember “downtown” Arlington?
12. Details on where Ashley I. gets her eyelashes done
Oh, and whether or not she’s been adopted by the Kardashians yet.
13. What Chris REALLY thought about Jade’s Playboy stint
And whether that’s why he eliminated her.
14. Kaitlyn being real, as usual
Also, please announce her as our next Bachelorette!
15. And most importantly…