Every day, we rush around from place to place and thing to thing. Weâre constantly running, running, running to our next activity, class, event or meeting. We rarely take the time to pause, relax and disconnect. Even when weâre on the go weâre connected, constantly looking at our phones for fear of missing out. We donât leave time to just be.
I have a confession: Iâm one of those people. I canât stand to sit down or hang out. Iâm constantly âputting 10 pounds in a 5 pound bag,â as my mom likes to say.
I know Iâm not the only one.
âIâve definitely correlated busy = successful,â says Alaina Leary, a Social Content Curator at Connelly Partners. âPeople congratulate me on my ability to be busy, and at job interviews Iâve been little short of applauded for having had so much experience.â
âIâve rationalized some correlation between being successful and always being busy,â says Sydnee Lyons, a first year grad student at FAU. âI sign myself up for things or commit to projects or volunteer to help out with things that I donât really have a lot of extra time for. In the end, I usually get it all done, butâŠI can tell that Iâm feeling burnt out.â
Why do we do this to ourselves?
Weâve grown up constantly scheduled from activity to activity, carefully groomed for the best college experience. We fall into the âbusy trap,â as this Forbes article argues, because we only learned to multitask, never to relax. âWe feel compelled to do it ourselvesâŠweâre used to being distracted,” Sydnee says.
The real problem isnât that we want to be doing something. To be creative, or to feel productive, we want to be creating. Itâs the way we go about it. The internet is awash with articles on productivity hacks, tips, and tricks. All we want to do is be more productive!
Thatâs the wrong way to approach it.
The Rise of The Humblebrag
What got us into this mess is the humblebrag. You know the drill:
âOh my gosh, Iâm so busy I donât have time to sit.â
âI know, I had to eat lunch standing up in between calls.â
âLunch? I donât remember the last time Iâve eaten lunch! There isnât time.â
Though thereâs nothing new about false modesty, social media gives us the ability to become more sophisticated at bragging, according to this recent New York Times article. Coined by Harris Wittels, a comedian and writer for NBCâs Parks and Recreation, the term allows those of us starving for attention to claim that weâre âhumbleâ or âblessed,â when in reality we want to tell the world how awesome we are.
As Lindsay Kolowich argues in this Hubspot blog post, the humblebrag is just a coping mechanism to prevent us from failing. We hide behind the chaos in our lives like itâs a good thingâwhen itâs driving us crazy.
âI think ‘busy’ is an over-glorified term,â says Lindsey Allen, founder of Real Talk with Lindsey, a community for budding entrepreneurs and creatives. âEveryone is busy working on something. I think people fear that if theyâre not perceived as being busy, theyâll be perceived as being lazy.â
We constantly praise our busyness, as if being busy equates to being awesome. We confuse quantity with quality, as if spending all of our time doing things means the stuff weâre doing is better than if we took the time to relax.
Arianna Huffingtonâs book Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and Creating a Life of Well-being, Wisdom, and Wonder emphasizes this exact point. We glorify being busy because the busier we are, the more âsuccessfulâ weâll be.
And Iâve completely bought into it.
Do Something That Matters
Focusing on productivity and the sheer amount we create isnât the right measurement for a day, even though it may be the most satisfying one. Instead, we need to focus on doing things that matter.
Lindsey gives some great advice: â[Be] addicted to creating fresh content, dabbling in graphic design, collaborating with other influential women in my industry, and creating physical products that inspire others.â
How you go about that is up to you. What âmattersâ doesnât need to be saving the world or becoming a celebrityâthough if thatâs what’s important to you, it can be. Find what drives you to be your best and do your best.
And for goodnessâ sake, take a break.Â