The holidays are known as a bright, happy, merry time—but sometimes it just doesn’t feel that way, and you feel bad admitting it. I mean, “it’s the most wonderful time of the year”… right? Right… Here are five reasons we realize you might be feeling down this holiday season, what’s behind them, and how to get you back in the holiday spirit!
Finals Stressin’ You Out
The semester is coming to an end, and as much as you love counting down until your drive/flight/train ride home, there are bundles of work for you to complete before that happens. It’s finals time! The library is full of students pulling all-nighters, making flashcards or doing an entire semester’s worth of reading for that one class that they never went to. “I get overwhelmed when I have too much work to do,” says Nursing student Lauren Burnley. “I like getting good grades, but is getting an ‘A’ worth missing all of these fun holiday parties? I’m not always sure. Thinking about that stresses me out even more.” “I’ll end up in the library for around 30 hours this week. I kind of live here during finals,” says Mary Monk, Hospitality and Tourism Management student. And unfortunately this is true for a lot of us.
But that doesn’t mean finals need to kill the mood entirely. Jennifer Behm, Graduate Assistant for the JMU Counseling & Student Development Center, has created a “Surviving the Holidays” workshop to help students through this time of year. “Plan out a study schedule,” says Behm, “It is also helpful to get a study buddy so you can test each other and gain confidence in your preparedness.” By creating some order in the madness of finals period, you can make the exams feel less overwhelming. So grab some friends or classmates well in advance of the final, and set out a manageable plan for the days leading up to it. And schedule in some down time, too! Give yourself an hour or two to hang out with friends, which will actually relax you, rather than pretending you’re going to study for ten hours straight, when you’ll probably just end up wasting time on Facebook and getting less work done than if you had let yourself take a real break.
Home “Sweet” Home
It can be hard to make the transition back to your parents’ house for the holidays. Unlike Ne-Yo, they might not understand that you’re “Miss Independent.” You’ve just finished finals and you’re exhausted. You want to relax, sleep-in, and go out with friends. Meanwhile, your parents try to tell you when to eat, clean, wake-up, and come home at night, despite that they’ve had no say over what time you do these things for the past few months. Avoiding engagement in arguments is the best way to deal, according to doctor of behavior Dr. Rick Brinkman, coauthor of the book Dealing with Relatives (…even if you can’t stand them). When your parents make comments about what you’re wearing or when you plan on coming home, say “Thank you for caring about how I dress. I’ll see you later.” Or, “I appreciate that you care about my safety and wellbeing. Don’t worry, I’ll be home by midnight.” “Don’t argue, just turn the momentum around by being mature,” says Dr. Brinkman. What you don’t want to do is what Dr. Brinkman calls to “dextify.” DEfend. EXplain. JusTIFY. “Being confident in yourself and your choices shows your maturity,” says Dr. Brinkman. He also suggests calling home to check-in, so your parents don’t have to worry. “Look for opportunities to show maturity,” he says, “and your parents will start to think of you differently.” Relationships with relatives more complicated than this? Check out Dr. Brinkman’s free teleseminar on relatives.
Storing Up For Winter… Literally
This time of year, with Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, and Mom’s home cooking, it’s almost impossible not to gain a few pounds. This means holiday parties you were once excited to attend are now a source of stress, and the thought of putting on your favorite itsy-bitsy LBD makes you cringe.
“I’ve already gained weight this semester, so the idea of gaining more is horrible,” says Monk. “I’ve been trying to eat healthier on the other days, so I can eat what I want at holiday parties.” “Weight comes and goes,” says Dr. Brinkman. “Give yourself a break and expect to gain a few pounds during the holidays. But also expect to lose it after.” Use the extra time at home without schoolwork to hit the gym, not just the refrigerator! Dr. Brinkman also suggests mentally rehearsing saying no to your favorite foods. “The more times you practice saying no to Mom’s cheesecake in your head, the more likely you are to react that way in reality,” he says. Behm encourages finding a partner to help shed the extra pounds you may have gained over the holidays. “If you find that you have gained weight while you were gone, grab an accountability buddy and commit to 30 minutes a day at [your school’s gym].” However, despite the sticks of butter and mounds of whipped cream that may be in the recipe, sometimes those few delicious bites are definitely worth the extra calories. Says Monk, “I’m not going to let it put a cramp in my celebrations!” Moral of the story: enjoy in moderation, and don’t go overboard—that way your waistline won’t, either.
Shopping Like It’s 1929
As trends regenerate, it’s a shame that prices can’t be vintage, too! The economy is tough, and shopping for gifts can be tougher—especially on a college budget. “It’s about the heart and meaning, especially with people you’re closest to,” says Dr. Brinkman. “Your friend might collect porcelain pigs, so look for a cheap one at an antique shop. He or she will be really grateful.” And if your friend has a less random interest, it will be even easier! “For my dad’s gift, my mom and sister and I all went into it together,” says Monk. If you don’t have the money to get something nice, ask other family members to split it with you. As for friends, remember they’re probably also feeling the financial strain. “They’re going to be getting cookies,” says Monk. Another idea? “Some people are exchanging gifts several days after the holiday to take advantage of post holiday markdowns.” Get out there and find those red tags, girls!
Baby, It’s Cold Outside
It stings your nose and bites your toes, and all the cold air can start makin’ a girl get Grinchy. Not only is it frigid outside, but it’s also getting dark earlier. “It gets dark sooner, and then it feels later,” says Burnley. “The days feel a lot shorter and it’s a lot harder to get work done. It can be dinnertime and I’m ready to go to bed.” “For some people it’s harder than others,” Dr. Brinkman says, “especially depending on where you grew up. If you’re used to seeing the sun more, it can really affect you.” Feeling down during the winter isn’t abnormal, but it could be Seasonal Affective Disorder. SAD is a type of depression that experts believe is caused by a lack of sunlight. According to WebMD.com’s Depression Center, the symptoms of SAD are:
- Feeling moody and grumpy
- Losing interest in your usual activities
- Eating more and craving carbohydrates
- Gaining weight
- Sleeping more and feeling drowsy during the daytime
For most people with SAD, these symptoms come around September or October and end in April or May. If you think you have SAD, make an appointment with your doctor. Treatments include light therapy, antidepressants, and counseling. Winter weather doesn’t need to upset you; instead let it make you jolly. If the cold weather and dark skies are getting to you, try to treat yourself with kind words, good nourishment, plenty of sleep, and exercise. Now would also be a good time to try that something you’ve always wanted to—knitting, painting, finishing a 1500 piece puzzle. Oh…and build a snowman! Maybe a girlfriend for Frosty?
And the Cure-All: Relax!
This winter break, don’t let the heat go out. As much as you want to get work done and have fun with the festivities, you should also remember to take moments to slow down and relax. “Instead of taking the bus or walking to campus, I drive so I can blast my music,” Monk says. “I like to sing to country and dance to rap.” “I take naps,” says Burnley, “I get some work done and then I take a break by napping or watching a TV show I like. It helps me work harder when I get back to studying.” We spend so much time stressing about the holidays, that we might lose sight of what this time of year is really about: fun, joy, and magic. Capture the excitement by enjoying the holiday preparation just as much as the holidays themselves. Focus on the positives of the season: holiday decorations, seasonal foods, and lots of love. Even though there are stresses, Monk admits, “The warmth of this time of year makes it all worthwhile.” Sources: Dr. Rick Brinkman, http://rickbrinkman.com/ WebMD’s Depression Health Center, http://www.webmd.com/depression/tc/seasonal-affective-disorder-sad-topic… Jennifer Behm, 2nd Year Community Counseling Student and Graduate Assistant for the Counseling & Student Development Center Lauren Burnley, JMU Nursing Student Mary Monk, JMU Tourism and Hospitality/Economics Student