My writing for this website is a strong indicator of my upbringing. Growing up gay is a painful process no matter how liberal an environment an adolescent is in, but I was fortunate enough to live in an area and a family that were among the more accepting of (or at least less vocally opposed to) homosexuality. That I am able to casually write under the pseudonym “Her Gay Best Friend” shows how lucky I have been to have the love and support of the people around me, but it still took years of doubt, fear, and pain to get to this point.
The recent suicides of gay teens have been terrifying and tragic, but what is truly horrific about them is that they aren’t special. Gay teens have long been at higher risk for suicide, forced to come to terms with unique self-discovery in a time of life that is already difficult and in a society that has come a long way, but still treats gays as second-class citizens and circus acts. Add consistent bullying to the mix, and it’s hard to find anything safe and stable to hold on to.
I encourage anyone who reads this to reach out to those who might be going through this situation. Don’t ask your younger brother if he’s gay just because he likes Gossip Girl, but let him know you’ve got his back no matter what. Be conscious of what you say; everyday conversation tends towards a heteronormative slant, and it’s isolating for gays to not even be worth a mention. (I myself feel a little guilty on this count, as my articles tend not to speak to lesbians or bisexual women, but I’ve never had a close female friend who wasn’t straight, and I honestly feel a little unqualified to dish out advice to girls who like girls.)
More than anything else, allow any homosexuals you know (or might know) to have the safety and reassurance of a friend that doesn’t treat their sexuality as anything special.
Kind of ironic coming from a guy labeled “her gay best friend.” Try not to rub it in my face.