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Ali Berlin’s Guide to Relationships, Love, and Confidence

This afternoon, I was fortunate enough to be able to interview Ali Berlin, a life and relationship coach, radio show host, and author. My conversation with Ali was so inspiring! Her message is truly inspiring and empowering. Read on to hear what she had to say!

Her Campus: How did you get involved with relationship coaching?
Ali Berlin: I was always really interested in people and how they feel and what they think. My work has been a natural evolution of that. I sincerely followed my heart.

HC: How did you start building your business?
AB: It was all word of mouth. My company is called One Life, which is based on the principle that every aspect of our lives is based on a reflection of who we are at the core. I know that my deepest passion is relationships and consciousness, so I built my business on relationships with people.

HC: What is a typical day like for you?
AB: I work with clients on some days. Other days may include planning my radio show [Alive With Ali Berlin]; it definitely includes writing, because I just finished writing one book and I’m about to finish writing another one; it includes reading other teachings about my state of mind and taking care of myself; my working includes cooking, because that’s a really big part of my sanity or well-being. I don’t believe in sacrificing my health and overall balance for work. I also do phone calls, work out partnerships, do a lot of brainstorming, and talk to so many interesting people. Every day is different. Even when I’m super busy, I try to keep myself connected to what really matters to me and stay grounded, instead of running around on a hamster wheel and driving myself nuts.

HC: When is your radio show on?
AB: You can listen online. All the shows are archived on my website, but you can also hear them all on iTunes as podcasts for free.

HC: How can college girls make the most of their dating life right now?
AB: They can be exactly who they are. A lot of times, all of us – women, men, college girls, out-of-college girls – think we have to do something or be something or dress a certain way on order to be more attractive or to get a date or to be noticed. But the best thing you can do for yourself – for life, for dating, for being in a relationship, for happiness, for wealth, for health – is to get to know who you are and what matters most to you. And that is the sexiest, most beautiful, most brilliant, most unique thing you can possibly do. Especially as women, part of our gift is intuition with the way we feel. Not just the way that we think, but the way that we feel. So, the more we get to know who we are, the more we get to understand our thoughts and feelings, our moods and what we want. When you’re confident like that, it’s so cool; it’s so right. The more we get to know who we are, the more we get to know ourselves, and the more confident we become because of that, we start attracting friends and people to date who are of that caliber – people who find that level of confidence attractive.

HC: How do you suggest becoming in tune with who you are and feeling comfortable in your own skin?
AB: I love that question. One of the ways is by starting to notice how you feel. When I first started college at Penn State, I was so overwhelmed. I don’t like being in big groups, I’m a very intimate person and I like being at home with my family and friends. It was second-nature to some of the students there to go to huge frat parties, but I always felt so overwhelmed at those parties. I felt like there was something wrong with me because I thought I was the only one who felt that way. I felt shocked, scared and overwhelmed. When I started to trust my instinct on that, I found other people who I wanted to spend with and who liked to do what I liked to do. That was a really good indicator for me that I was going in the right direction for me.

HC: One-on-one coaching isn’t always affordable for college girls, so who can they turn to for guidance?
AB: Look towards someone you admire. Look for women who emulate qualities of life that you want to emulate, too. Maybe you look towards a relationship icon, a marriage icon, a style icon, a business icon, an integrity icon. If you’re close, ask her questions.  Sometimes, you have a chance to find an unofficial mentor. I had a few in college and they were so helpful. They helped reinforce the things that I loved about myself. That’s so important. Finally, it’s important to know who you are and what your values are. If you don’t know yet, that’s okay, too.

HC: Is there anything else you would like to add?
AB: I just think it is so important for young women to get how fabulous and brilliant and beautiful and capable they are. Life is always giving you signals about who you are and what your gifts are; life sends you people to draw those gifts out of you, and also sends you people who can show you where you can grow. Those things may show up as painful experiences or challenging experiences, but they don’t last forever. Everything that happens can help you discover who you are. We all have this tremendous power to change the planet, but it all starts with how we relate to ourselves. You don’t change the world by going to Africa to feed kids, you change the world by starting your day and loving yourself, then loving someone else, and then someone else. Love can look like a lot of things: kindness, forgiveness, passion, power, generosity, gratitude. I want to remind all the young women in your community that, first and foremost, it is all about your relationship with yourself.

Isn’t Ali incredible? For more information on Ali…

Originally from Boston, Hannah is now a sophomore at New York University and loves life in the big city. Her favorite things include poking fun at celebrities on Twitter, yoga, leopard print shoes, Frank Sinatra, and her little sister Julia. Hannah was Her Campus's first editorial intern in Summer 2010 and has since continued her involvement with HC as the High School Editor and head of the High School Ambassador program. She is a former Seventeen and Huffington Post intern, where she researched and wrote about celebrities and once made lunch for Kylie Jenner. Read her short-form ramblings at @hannahorens.
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