I hate to admit it just as much as any other girl, but sometimes Mom really does know best. And when it comes to manners, this is often the case. Not to sound too disparaging about our generation, but any visit to a college dining hall or a crowded mall sure makes it seem like a lot of us just donât know how to conduct ourselves like the young ladies and gentlemen that we are. Etiquette isnât just for job interviews and tea parties, we need it every day! Poor etiquette can lead to lost opportunities, social awkwardness and an increased likelihood of coming across as a buffoon. Yikes. Luckily, itâs really not that hard to avoid all of that. Follow these five little rules and you could snag that dream job, become teacherâs (professorâs?) pet, get more friends and even make Mom smile!
1. Turn off your cell phone.
âThe number one thing that a collegiette  should remember about her cell phone is that you want to be focused on the person youâre with, not the device,â Lizzie Post of the Emily Post Institute, and great-great-granddaughter of Emily Post, says. If youâre with someone, whether itâs a date with that hunk from Orgo, shopping with a roomie or dinner with an academic adviser, leave your phone in your bag. âIt is rude to talk or text at the table because it makes everyone around you seem less important,â says Evelyn A. Matthews, co-founder of The Etiquette Company. If youâre expecting a really important call and do not want to miss it, explain that to the person youâre with at the beginning. Then put your phone on vibrate and keep it in your pocket. âDonât leave it on the table, like a ticking time bomb waiting to go off,â says Post.
2. Be gratefulâsend a thank-you note!
Want a quick and easy way to make yourself stand out from the crowds of applicants for a job, internship or fellowship? Send a thank you note! âA thank you note should be written within 24 hours,â says Naomi Torre, director of The Etiquette School, âafter that it loses its nuance.â For that speedy turnaround, a two or three sentence e-mail expressing your gratitude will do. Donât forget to follow up with a hand-written thank you note as well, advises Post. âTheyâre still necessary and theyâre really important,â she says. Thank you notes arenât just for after interviews, either. Here are a few other things you should send thank-you notes for:
- Did you get a gift? Do you want to get another one someday? Send a thank you note!
- Did your teacher/employer/supervisor write a recommendation for you? The least you can do is write her a thank you note!
- Did your friendâs parents let you crash at their house over break? Send your thanks for the pancakes and pillows.
- Did a neighbor hire you as their pet-sitter while they went on vacation? A thank you note definitely wonât hurt your chances of it happening again!
For how to write the perfect thank-you note, check out this HC article!
3. Donât eat like a barbarian.
âEating is inherently gross,â says Post. âItâs taking something, mushing it up, getting your saliva into it and swallowing it down.â But eating, like many other bodily functions, is necessary. And, so that we donât gross everyone out when we do it, we have table manners. Here are the basics: chew with your mouth closed, swallow before speaking, donât smack your food and try not to lean into your plate and shovel in the food (even if youâre really hungry, the dining hall is not a barn and you are not a pig). As far as little intricacies of dining etiquette are concerned, Post says, âeven Emily Postâshe didnât care what fork you used, she cared that you used a fork.â So donât sweat the small stuffâbut do keep general table manners in the picture. The fork thing raises another issueâwhatâs okay to eat with your hands and whatâs not? Here are some foods that you can go forkless for:
- Chicken wingsâfrankly, these are going to be messy no matter what. Just try to keep the mess to a minimum and wipe the sauce off your hands as soon as youâre done.
- Pizzaâno, you donât have to whip out the fork and knife for this one. Unless, of course, youâre eating a gourmet pizza in a nice restaurant.
- Sandwichesâsee above.
And here are some foods that do warrant utensils:
- Sushiâif youâre brave, you can swap in the Western utensils for chopsticks (but you might need some practice)!
- Sashimiâthink about it: itâs raw fish. Eating this with your hands, and then touching other things, could lead to some unpleasant health situations. Just donât.
- RibsâI know what youâre thinking: âHey! How are chicken wings fine, but ribs arenât?â The difference here is that ribs donât have to be messy. Cutting the meat off of the bone isnât too difficult and then you can enjoy your meat and stay ladylike at the same time.
[pagebreak]
4. Introduce acquaintances.
Introducing others is important because it prevents awkward situations. Imagine that youâre walking to the library with a friend and bump into someone you know. If you just start chatting away, the friend you were with will quickly come to feel like a third wheel. Itâs even worse when the third wheel is not your friend but your boyfriend, which will likely lead to even more drama. Introducing your acquaintances prevents that uncomfortable situation, contributing to everyoneâs ease. âAlso, you never know where it could get you,â says Post. If you introduce your acquaintances to one another, they may introduce you to their acquaintances. A broader social network can always come in handy, so keep the introductions coming! A quick âHave you met my friend Julie?â will suffice.
5. Be punctual!
Just because this comes at the end of the list does not mean it is any less important than the othersâin fact, punctuality is hugely important. âIt instantly puts a bad taste in someoneâs mouth if you make them wait for you,â says Post.
âWhen youâre trying to win that coveted internship, stacking the odds against you is exactly what you donât want. Always late? Plan to arrive 10 minutes early,â advises Matthews. That way, even if youâre later than you hoped, youâre still on time. Another great way to improve your punctuality is to time your routine. Donât make any shortcuts; the time has to be honest to be useful! Shocked by how long it takes you to get ready? Check out this HC article to speed up your routine!
So there you have itâitâs pretty easy to improve the impression you give off to others. Come on, collegiettesTM, letâs keep it classy.
Sources
Lizzie Post, great-great-granddaughter of Emily Post, Etiquette Consultant at The Emily Post Institute, and author of How Do You Work This Life Thing?
Evelyn A. Matthews, Co-Founder and Instructor, The Etiquette Company (www.etiquetteco.com).
Naomi Torre, Director of www.etiquette-school.com and Certified Etiquette Consultant.
Â