I Self-Cared Like a Mermaid, AKA the Most Gen Z-est Bathtime Routine Ever

I've never really wondered what it was like to smell like a unicorn. But, like any good Gen Z brand, Hallu has given me fulfilling answers to questions I didn't ask. Turns out, mermaids DO use shea butter on their fins and gnomes DON'T smell like grass clippings and B.O.

The newest self-care products from Hallu include collections like Unicorn, Mermaid, Fairy and Gnome, and they are laced with a ton of of myth, a bunch of lore, and just enough fantasy to catapult you to the apex of escapism (legally). Now, I’m an advocate for self-care, but don’t always practice it as much as I should. I haven’t had a haircut in a year, I just ate M&Ms and a slim jim all before 10 a.m. Also, my nail beds suck. But what I can get behind is a good bath.

And if you light a candle, give me some wine, and drop some mystical bath bombs into my tub? I basically live here now.

Here’s how it went down.

Let me just say, the mermaid bomb is the absolute tits fins. When I dropped it into the tub, it fizzed and spun and spit pretty colors like any IG-worthy bath bomb should, but instead of leaving the water with that murky orange/brown or putrid green color, this bomb turned my water into the clearest shade of green/blue I had ever seen. Totally reminded me of the vacation to that gorg Island in the Caribbean I never took. 

 

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How I became a super zen mermaid queen.

While soaking in my completely extra aqua bath water, I decided to do what all women who are home alone, slightly buzzed, and in a warm, relaxing tub do: exfoliate! (I see you, horny women of the internet. And I salute you.) The Sea Salt Citrus Mermaid scrub is made with walnut shell, sea kelp, shea butter and safflower oil. Basically a whole bunch of stuff to slough off the older, grosser you and nourish the newer, better you. This scrub left me feeling super soft and moisturized hours later. I dig it.

I usually don’t rely on heavy perfumes and other fragranced fodder to mask my natural (and glorious) scent, but to achieve optimum Hallu escapism, you’ve gotta go balls out, full-on mermaid. So I spritzed hard with the Mermaid Body Mist. And I didn’t hate it.

In fact, I kind of loved the light, citrusy scent. Apparently it has notes of peony, so there’s that. The bottle is also in the shape of a mermaid tale. So there’s that, too. Overall, Hallu products are totally enjoyable bits of escapism that I’ll definitely be using again.

Best part? They have a super low price point, so you don’t have to break the bank to feel and smell like Ariel. Or a garden gnome, if that’s what you’re into. 

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