Within the past few years, Netflix has been pushing out interesting and potentially controversial documentary dramas. The most recent Netflix documentary drama that has been a hot topic is Tinder Swindler. The documentary is narrated by the very women who were scammed of millions by convicted con-man Shimon Hayut, a dating app-based money swindler. Calling himself Simon Leviev, he portrayed himself as a son of a billionaire. Charmed by his good looks, smooth-talking and luxurious first dates, these women found themselves under his manipulative control.
While one might think that these women would soon realise the truth of the matter, Hayut played the convincing role of a typical rich playboy, by pretending to be the son of a diamond mogul, Lev Leviev. He brought women around the world in private jets and made promises of moving in together into affluent neighbourhoods — all of which was funded by his previous victims. Just when they are about to move in together, he suddenly claims his enemies are catching up to him and even sends photographs of his injuries to prove that he has been attacked. As you can probably guess, he claims that due to his enemies, he no longer has access to the money he claims is rightfully his. Spell-bound by him, these women were convinced to send him money and like clockwork, he would use this money to scam his next victim and fund his opulent lifestyle.
This is definitely not the first case where scammers have used dating apps to fish for victims and cheat them of their money. However, given that the documentary is produced by Netflix, which has 617.4 million worldwide viewers, it is not surprising that Hayut and these women have had their actions scrutinized by the public overnight. You would think that the scammer would be the person facing the most backlash; sad to say, the opposite is true.
Instead, the documentary has propelled Hayut to fame even though he preyed on these women emotionally and financially. Currently, he makes money by creating personalized videos on Cameo. Starting from SGD$1,359, people can book his services so that he can “wish the special person in your life whatever you need!” as noted on his cameo page. Essentially, Netflix has allowed him to create a brand for himself where he is able to charge exorbitant amounts and people are willing to pay for it. In fact, he has about 1,000 fans on Cameo with many leaving raving reviews commenting that the videos received were amazing and some even calling him a legend. One reviewer even ends his review with “Thank you I would leave a tip but my enemies are after me,” which is a reference to the Tinder Swindler, his “brand” of sorts.
Moreover, he has also signed on with L.A.-based talent manager, Gina Rodriguez, who wants to help make him big in Hollywood by signing onto shows like Dancing with the Stars. Additionally, it is rumoured that there are plans for Hayut to open a podcast on dating and giving out dating advice. To make matters worse, he is planning on creating a dating show where women will vie for his attention and love, even though he has a girlfriend.
While he continues to exploit others and becomes more famous, the victims who have bravely broadcasted their faces and stories in hopes of warning others of Hayut and the potential dangers of online dating, have faced backlash and continue to be victim-shamed. One Twitter user violently vents: “i want to throw things at my tv at how stupid the women are…WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE” when making reference to Tinder Swindler and another documentary drama Bad Vegan. However, it is not just Twitter users who are blaming these victims; these women have been made fun of on TikTok as well. Labelled as gullible and even gold diggers, some TikTok account users have been very dismissive of these women’s experiences by hinting that they deserved it and had it coming. Additionally, some of these accounts have boasted that while they had been in contact with Hayut on Tinder, they did not fall for his schemes.
In fact, the director of the Tinder Swindler was initially cynical of victims. When she first came across the case, she was dumbfounded and even puzzled on how one could fall for such a story. However, as she began the process of creating this documentary, she realized the whirlwind of emotions that lies behind the decision-making process of these women. Looking for romance and being pampered by lavish gifts, these women were blindsided by love. Despite realising how they have been duped, instead of burying their heads in shame, they decided to bravely share their stories with the public and prevent more women from being conned.
Having a brief glance at people who victim-shamed these women, it is astounding and sad that a significant number of these people are females themselves. As Australian clinical psychologist Rachel Samson puts it “women have become victims for a second time – this time to the patriarchy that tells them it’s their responsibility to protect themselves from abuse rather than holding the male perpetrator accountable.” In the eyes of society, those who fall victim to love scams deserve it and that they are “foolish” and “unintelligent”. Hover Samson suggests that “more highly educated [women] may be at greater risk of becoming a victim of ‘love scams’.” This goes against the idea that these women are “stupid.” According to a Journal article by Fisher, Lea and Evans, the highly educated tend to be overconfident and believe that they will be able to spot a scam from a mile away. Subsequently, this becomes a blind spot, making them more vulnerable to such scams. But the stereotype of these women as “stupid” will only lead to the never-ending cycle of victim shaming, while perpetrators like Hayut are easily forgiven by society and even revered by some. Tinder Swindler with all its fantastic narration, camera work and post-production edits has made it a fascinating documentary to watch; one that leaves you wanting for more. Yet, it also illustrates the darker aspects of society such as victim-shaming and the misogynistic views that are still deeply entrenched within our thinking. Though it is easy to say with hindsight and as a third party that we will not allow ourselves to be duped and become victims, it is hard to say with certainty how logical and rational one might be when faced with a similar situation.