Understanding yourself as a leader takes time and courage because it requires vulnerability. There will be multiple instances where it will be a series of trial and error and you will feel as if you aren’t doing anything right. Other times will be constant push back from others that might help or hinder your progress. In any case, growing and understanding yourself is always going to be a part of the process as you learn to navigate new waters.
The Growth
Personally, I believe the only way you can grow as a leader is through how you react to the turmoil and struggles thrown at you. How you fight the battles, the reactions you give to the pushbacks, and how you come out from it all will determine how you form as a leader. Being open and vulnerable to feedback and challenges that occur after these battles is a crucial growth period. If you as a leader are not willing to learn or understand yourself more, you will not be able to lead others effectively and willingly.
The Journey
My journey as a leader is still a long path ahead, but the path I have taken also has many miles marked. It has been a time of turmoil with myself and with others. Personally, as a leader, I tend to want to be with my group, not over my group. The group makes me who I am and is an influential part of how I can better myself and them as a whole. With that being said, it can be hard especially when groups have differing opinions, ideas, philosophies, etc. and can view your style of leadership as something weak, invalid, or not strong enough. While this is not always the case, in some instances this has come up for myself or my fellow leaders in their group settings.
The Continuation Forward
Leadership is ever-evolving just as you and I are as well. As we learn to grow, we become better versions of ourselves. Take it step by step as the process is long but worth it. There will be times you feel like you’ve only gone backwards in progress, but don’t lose sight. It takes time, and during that time there will be immeasurable growth that will impact yourself and others. Stay strong and continue believing in yourself.