Now, I’m only eighteen and have only been in the stage of adulthood for about a good seven months, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have any wisdom to share. Life is filled with ups and downs and with moments of loss, confusion, and loneliness – making it sometimes hard to find clarity. This is exactly why I want to share some advice that can help you guys cope with the dynamics of life. I hope you take this list to heart and really contemplate them.
- Learning and Growing Never Stops
It doesn’t matter if you’re in your 30s or 60s. You will never stop learning and your values will never stop evolving. As humans, we often reflect and think about our actions and morals. If you don’t, well, that’s kinda sad because you’re stuck in this static way of life and you’re preventing yourself from ever developing. Embrace personal growth and question everything. This is the only way we’ll be able to expand our mind and become a better person.
- It’s Not a One Way Street
It’s easy to feel obligated to live your life a certain way. Sometimes it will feel like if you don’t follow the traditional and favored path, everything will fall apart. I’m telling you right now that this is not true. Everyone’s journey is different and just because yours might be unconventional, doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Take the path less traveled, and who knows, maybe you’ll end up with the best thing that has ever happened to you. The same thing goes for the other way around; there is nothing wrong with doing what makes you feel more secure and assured.
- Most Things are Temporary
Life likes to shake things up every once in a while. The friends and the routine you have now, most likely, won’t be the same a year from now. Some people find it more difficult to move on when these changes happen, but I am telling you this is the best opportunity to determine who and what truly matters to you. Things will come and go; it’s up to you to choose what you want constant in your life.
- You Can’t Force Someone to Understand
Speaking of letting things go, don’t force those who fail or refuse to understand your boundaries to stay. It doesn’t matter how amazing that person truly is. If they can’t meet your needs, it’s better to part ways. It took me years to realize this, but you’re never asking for too much. The same thing applies to you. If you find yourself not being able to meet the needs of someone, then maybe that relationship is not the best for either party. Sometimes, the compatibility just isn’t there.
- You’re Human, not a Superhero
It’s not your responsibility to fix everything going wrong in everyone else’s lives. I’m still struggling to learn this one, but you’re human with your own problems and trauma. Every so often, I would find myself putting all my loved one’s inconveniences and problems above mine. This forces my own issues to be pushed all the way to the bottom of the list. Obviously, it’s normal to make your family and friends a priority, but there comes a point when it becomes unhealthy. I am setting an expectation to people that I will always be there to “save the day,” and making it a responsibility to myself to be able to fix everything. When I fail to do this, I feel awful and guilty.
- Time Will Heal
The darkest moments of your life may seem like forever, but it’s only really a fragment on this long timeline filled with joy and happiness. It might feel like things will never get better, but I can promise you it’s amazing what a little time can do. Healing is a complex and lengthy process, but time is the greatest cure.
- Learn How to be Happy on Your Own
You’re the most permanent person in your life, so learn how to be happy with yourself. It’s fun to have friends and a partner, but to be entirely dependent on them for your happiness isn’t healthy. Embrace your independence and find hobbies you can do on your own in order to build that connection with yourself. Trust me, being alone is not the same as being lonely.