As March comes and goes, so does women’s history month, celebrating all women and our triumphs and defeats. Women have come a long way in society, the biggest achievement being that we can be our own person and pursue what we want, without the approval of others. Yet, there is a multitude of hidden faults and struggles we don’t talk about–The pressure on young women in navigating their 20s.
Women have been encouraged that their main focus should be marriage and raising a family since the beginning of time. We feel as if our destined purpose on this earth are to become wives and mothers. Even though times have evolved since then, women are still pressured to start families as soon as possible, causing us to rush through critical moments in our lives so we can focus on the nuclear family. But really, what is the rush?
A young adult’s 20s is the most crucial time for self-growth and development. It’s when individuals can go to college and find their own crowds that they couldn’t in high school. It’s when we can break out of our meek shells and authentically pursue what we want. Your 20s aren’t always full of great experiences and come with immense downfalls, such as break-ups, lost friendships, career confusion, financial problems, and feeling a stand-still in life.
Women especially struggle in their 20s to find themselves and create their own path for fear of doing something wrong and wasting time. But failing is a part of succeeding. You cannot accomplish your goals without failing tasks on the way that create a better you.
So, instead of me listing several things that I have struggled with in my early 20s, I decided to ask other women their opinions on the hardest aspects they have to face. Here is the consensus:
Everyone is on a different path and timeline. When you graduate high school, the chances that your friend group and yourself will end up in the same place is very unlikely. Your friends may have chosen a different college to attend, moved far away from home, entered the workforce, or stayed back home and started adult life right away. These factors can strain relationships if you let them. It’s during this time when you learn who your real friends are; the ones who never stray away and make great efforts for you, no matter the distance between you. Jealousy seems to peak through at this time, for some of your friends may create success before you, but that is OKAY! Your success will come but until it does, be the biggest cheerleader for your friends, for when success finally arrives, you’ll want people to celebrate you.
Love will find you when the time is right. A woman’s 20s should be full of creating new experiences, such as travel, college, new friendships, work opportunities, and most importantly, finding yourself. Sometimes being single for a long period of time can be what’s best for you because you can solely focus on yourself, your wants, your needs, and no one else. I have seen many friends of mine blossom in their single life, celebrating life and creating a better self for the future. You do not need to rush your own self-discovery to please a society that pushes women to marry to find their purpose. You should be selfish with your time in your 20s, and use them to create the person you have always envisioned yourself to be. Love can always wait.
You don’t need to have everything figured out. As teenagers, we feel the world on our shoulders, choosing our paths for the next stage in life. But in your 20s is when life gets even messier, where we have to enact on the paths we chose. For some odd reason, we feel like we are supposed to know every next step we take, having a plan for every day that passes but having no preparations for the future is okay. Having no plan is a plan. If being spontaneous and just living life day-by-day keeps you sane, then keep doing you girl. Everyone’s life has a different rhythm or beat. Don’t try to speed up your own beat to follow society’s standards.
Lastly, if no one has told you, you are doing amazing and your success will come to you when the time is right. Enjoy being in your 20s before it’s gone and leave your worries for your 30s.