I grew up watching rom-coms, thinking that you can meet the man of your dreams doing ordinary things – grocery shopping, studying at a coffee shop, or even running into a stranger on the street. However, this generation has made it nearly impossible to keep the hope of romantic relationships alive. Gen Z is so wrapped up in social media and trends, that the idea of romance has seemingly vanished from our minds completely. We have gone so far into “talking” stages, that we can’t even maintain relationships for over a year. Netflix and chill has become our idea of an ideal date. We are so caught up in social media approval that we don’t even show our partners faces in any of our posts. Why is our generation like this?
Every person from the age of 16-23 believes that this time of our lives is meant to be spent enjoying your singleness, being carefree, without any worry of the future. While that may be true, people often forget that every relationship you have now can potentially affect the relationships you have in the future.
The interactions you have while you’re in your early adulthood build the foundation for your preferences in a romantic partner in the future. For example, your first boyfriend or girlfriend could have been really inconsistent, therefore you’ll be able to notice inconsistencies quicker in a future relationship. The only issue with this is that often people use their trauma of previous relationships as an excuse for toxic behaviors in their current relationships, which is one of the main reasons relationships don’t last. Healing and working through your trauma is one of the most essential parts to being capable of maintaining a healthy relationship, and many people in this generation just aren’t there yet.
Depending on where you live, your environment is often full of young, horny, singles ready to satisfy their temporary cravings with whomever is near and available. It is in our nature to want to have sex, but this generation has romanticized the idea of having multiple partners. Don’t get me wrong, earlier generations definitely had their share of influence in this idea as well, but they were just better at not getting caught – especially with no social media to track their every move.
There is nothing wrong with being with multiple people, if that’s what you’re into, but the issue often lies in the communication. Many people go into sexual relationships with the idea of exclusivity, but sometimes, that may not be the case. The lack of communication prior to engaging in romantic or sexual relationships often leads to disappointment and heartbreak, which then leaves people with the idea that they have to put their feelings to the side in order to be able to maintain their sexual cravings.
Another issue that also stems out of this is the imbalance of promiscuity between men and women. Some find it more common, even acceptable, for men to be promiscuous. However, when a woman does it, she is often slut-shamed and ostracized. This makes it nearly impossible for women to be able to develop and understand their sexualities at the same pace as men. This is especially true when this generation has their mind wrapped around the ideas of “body counts” – the number of people you’ve slept with.
The overall romantic state of this generation is dead. We cannot be expected to maintain healthy relationships when most of us don’t even know what we want. My recommendation: enjoy your single life, learn what you like/don’t like, and don’t get too attached to temporary feelings. Forget the idea of “talking,” and simply just call it what it is… dating! Stop trying to put titles on unnecessary relationships and allow yourself to be free to explore, as long as you are doing so safely and with open communication. Then, eventually, when you are ready to pursue something more serious, you’ll be able to do so as a more whole individual.